无数个自己

看了狼牙 喜欢细节化的动作片
好过拿把刀东砍西砍 却都被剪掉强吧
看电影就是想要画面视觉的震撼
唉 日子一直在过啊
好难想象 我就21了 然后 很快 就要实习了
曾经孩子的我眼巴巴的看着姐姐们拖着疲惫的身躯上班
拖着更疲惫的身躯下班 趴着回家
以前觉得 要我干嘛都好 不要叫我读书
可现在 叫我干吗都好 拜托让我继续读书
人啊 改变就是唯一的不变
很多发人省思的话说起来都像在绕口令

最近刚读完一本励志书 算是吧 心灵鸡汤那一种
并没有真的挑起我的什么潜在的意志力之类的
充其量我不过把他当短篇小说在看
这让我想起看过的一段话 “血拼绝对比心理医师便宜”
也许九把刀惯了 所以对励志种类的书感悟力退化
当然某些点上还是会点头如捣蒜
也许哪一天 我跌倒了 我才会真的明白励志书背后的意义
可没关系 我不介意 就等着跌吧

今天其实一大早吃了很好的面包
很软很软 早晨最适合的柔软 虽然我起得很早
可是我喜欢吃到好吃的早餐后 情不自禁的那一种温暖
感觉自己好像好久没有回家了 可没有考完试 我不想那么快回到我的酒池肉林 我的温柔乡
一个人住明白了家的好 但并没有真的掩盖自由的渴望
依旧是不停的在家和外面世界之间摆荡
偶尔摔得重 偶尔掉得轻 偶尔迷惑 偶尔幸福



今天吃早餐的自己
昨晚赶温习的自己
现在懒洋洋的自己
曾经迷失掉的自己
一直很迷茫的自己
快要成长了的自己
总是舍不得的自己
永远在追寻的自己

这些自己， 我都收下了。 这辈子 我的人生很复杂。
远比我的多重人格还要复杂。 复杂的 有一种 剪不清 理还乱 的 尴尬

“做自己喜欢做的事，那是自由。

喜欢自己做的事， 那是幸福”

我喜欢这句。因为无论如何，听起来都不错。
之前因为住宿的问题 搞得心情乌烟瘴气
可还是被点醒了 回过神来的当下 总算理解为什么大家都告诫大家要看得开
一不小心掉进思考的死胡同 牛角尖 绝望的感觉是挺真实的
看得开，是吗？ 我尽量。

这日子啊 过久了 很多烦恼也变得得心应手
这句话说了 适合配着苦笑 下酒 畅饮 问天 问苍天 这海海人生 这人生海海

Pastry is my kind of thing!

that was then

slept really late last night.
determined to finish at least up to as scheduled (still one chapter behind though)
shit.
but then i still wake up really early today.
even earlier than all my other weekends, 9am. 
wth. i had this problem with getting up.
always had to struggle through few stages, like this:

1. heard the alarm
2. snooze, snooze and FREAKIN SNOOZE
3. try to be mentally sober
4. try to open my eyes
5. try to make my eyes stay opened
6. smell or you may even say SNIFF my blanket
7. rolling rolling LOTSA rolling
8. look at the time
9. OH SHIT

and that's practically what happen every morning
the timing goes this way
i have 9am class. i'll set my alarm to start ringing at 630am.
my snoozing will be every 18 minutes.
and until i reach "OH SHIT", it is always 830am.
WTF. my hostel has 13 people and only ONE toilet
that's how my morning crash every time, trying to get into the toilet


and i guess this is pretty much what happened on everyone
LOL! teenage dream in a teenage circus...running around like a clown on purpose


my dad can never deal with my habit
he always end his conversation like this
"sleep early. wake up early. this is very important to keep you healthy!"


from every topic, daily random conversations, about my studies, about my phone credits, about my bank accounts, HE ALWAYS END WITH THIS:

"sleep early. wake up early. this is very important to keep you healthy!"

well. that's my dad.
most people who know a lil bout my dad find him cute.
my cousin especially. She likes to listen to my dad's story. 
my special dad. =)


oh and i still remember receiving his text messages in class and had me laugh out LOUD!
it goes like this,

"My Daughter, KahInn, .......(some daily reminder thingy). From Boon Chuan, Your father"

I was in a tutorial class and started shivering and trying to resist the urge to ROFL.
i showed it to my friend and she was like, WOW! is your dad a teacher or something?
I said no, he is just new to sms-ing. (that explains!)


my dad is so cute bout my friend reaction, the underlying-message he decrypt from the reaction was : "oh?! that means your friend think i speak good english that is qualified to be a teacher?!"


ZOMG! dad, you wanna know what i like about you?

"YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR!"

my dad likes to tell us jokes. i dunno where he got all this "intention" from.
he just like to tell un-funny jokes and expect us to laugh like he does.
but there was once he told and i still love that jokes until today,
FYI, my dad tell his jokes with actions all on. like so cool!!!!!
the joke is something like this:

in a school and some one set fireworks in the school compound.the principal is mad and went into a class shouting "SIAPA BAKAR?!!"(as in siapa bakar mercun)a nerdy boy stand up and say, (shaking-ly) while raising his hand at the same time"saya ....... bakar"principal was shock for a nerdy to admit SO FAST he ask again, "KAMU BAKAR? BETUL KAMU BAKAR?"nerdy say.." ya......sa....saya BAKAR"the principal was mad and shouted "KAMU BAKAR? KENAPA KAMU BAKAR????!!!"nerdy was like..."saya..sa...saya mia bapa bakar, saya pun bakar la..."as he speak he touches his name tag on his uniform saying"ABU BAKAR"

that was really funny for me back then
my dad would do role play for me and my brother in the room 
bakar, principle, raise his hand, all and all.
LOL! i'm gonna ask him if he still remember this!

dear you,

i wanna talk about a friend.

a friend which i was telling somebody else about.

someone i've told her face to face that,"you're inspiring.and i love you"

the first one who cured me. by telling me

"you know, i might appear awesome to you. but deep inside, i still think i'm pretty screwed up.

we all have a part in ourselves that has to drag us down to earth. just because this part showed itself, it doesnt mean you should die"

the one who came to me one day and say,

"hey. i'm glad that i've been inspiring to you. because now, you are inspiring me too"

i think she turned my sarcasm on.

someone who prove to me ear-torturing facts is awful for its all true.

your message was a bomb. you're still inspiring my lovely friend.

sometimes in the middle of the night when we were crapping bout recent hectic life

we laugh at the funny things on the internet

and we called these kind of chit chat an escape

so thanks. for supplying me stories of your life, and for taking my stories.

you were once close to me. then you went far. but like what said

"OH PUH-LISS, 21st century is no longer the kind of goodbye and never see each other. technology EXIST"

oh god. i literally remembered your sentence.

OH GAWD

by the way, i still find spongebob WAYYYYYYYYYY better than stupid bob the builder.

at least we see no one selling bob the builder stuffs!

i love you. thanks for the message.

If i were to be a kite, you would have been my string.

=)

and we couldnt wait to grow up?!

fine i couldnt think of anything and i end up watchin kevjumba for an hour till now.

WTF!

1 more truth to share which i just realized,

ICQ, MSN, Friendster, Blog, Youtube, FACEBOOK. This is how i grow old. 10 years had passed JUST LIKE THAT!

oh back at those days we only had icq...

waiting patiently for the "person" at the corner of conversation window to turn round..

then MSN and Yahoo messenger came along. everyone was using MSN. and i remember its so much fun than ICQ because u get to put your own profile picture.

those were the time we chat round and keep changing new email address.

then better, friendster showed up.

the best part would be seeing people giving you testimonials.

people develop creativity on writing the testi.

famous people get more testi, and if you have more testi, YOU'RE FAMOUS.

what a dream back then.

we shared photos. everyone was so keen on making blings blings and emo words on the photos.

slowly leading to a new style of self-snapping pose to OPEN YOU EYES and act like you're innocent and ....cute? i think some still do this these days. LOL!!!

then we made our hair stand up, spiky, weird and wear all kind of stuffs on us.

not much of my friend find their 10years ago self attractive.

most screams when they were given an old photo of them posing at the "top fashion style" back at that time

Vince n Co used to be the spot, and thats how we started our adventure into a false fashion sense.

Next on, FORUM! yea tahts right. people post bout anything. polls will be on to vote for the prettiest girl and boys. stealing photos from friendster and open vote for everyone.

whoever gets the most vote, YOU WALK AWAY WITH FAME. lot and lot of fame.

seeing people's photo. then boyfriend girlfriend gets to be voted too...like "the best couple"?

lol! now that's ridiculous.

then Blog came along. Most people start with wretch i think. as in among my friends.

i started with xanga. which i barely remember my username.. never logged in since i think 6 years ago.

then i went to wretch. oh those were the time.

friends link each other, pretty girl gets famous.

taiwan fashion stepped in. EVERYONE wanna be taiwanese-looking alike.

all kind of hairstyle, outfitstyle. wearing a few layers in freakin hot malaysia and call yourself taiwan winter style. DUH!

i used to wear like a boy. u know, a tshirt and one more shirts, with spiky hair.

OH SHIT. OH MY FUCKIN SHIT

and we started blogging where people starts digging secrets. like reading a few blogs and figure out a secret. (not so much of a secret after all huh)

and started sharing links of pretty girls. EVERYONE WANNA BE IN TOUCH WITH THE PRETTY GIRLS

its like an honour to have the pretty girl link you in her own blog.

Once she does, YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

lol. people will be whispering behind you.....

NAH! joking! NEVER! but the honour part is true.

pretty go round to meet pretty girls.

not so much of friendster anymore.

blogging was the new trend.

then Youtube came along.

that should be a lil after handphone with camera and mp3 function was launched.

i mean when they get so affordable, people start uploading videos of them acting FUNNY...or even STUPID.

and i think "Malaysiakuku" did turn a new page for youtube. I STILL THINK SO!

and in between all these, internet gets COMMON.

everyone has a computer and its only a matter of HOW MANY!

oh and finally, FACEBOOK era is here.

"tag me" "facebook me" "my wall" "pet society" "cheat"

these words filled up everyone's life.

sitting there seeing facebook wall refresh on its own.

its like a miracle. how did I walk from ICQ and reach here?

funny isnt it. i used to get frustrated whenever msn fail to connect.

and now i always forget about msn. facebook and blogspot and twitter and tumblr

i came across a quote on tumblr yesterday:

"i cant wait to wake up as a 90-year-old and start telling my grandchildren, back at those days, we only have facebook!"

wouldnt it be nice. kids started off with facebook.

they never understand the feeling of friendster testi.

like how we can never understand our parents story about pen-pal....

wow.. WOW.

shit. time dont pass, THEY FLY.

now that i realized,
it would be half a year GONE after my exams and internship.
i can't wait till then for everything.
oh god

and the photographer is back in action

http://frameitallup.blogspot.com/

http://frameitallup.blogspot.com/

http://frameitallup.blogspot.com/

http://frameitallup.blogspot.com/

http://frameitallup.blogspot.com/

**this time let me say:

"cheese!"

海阔天空

如果真有一天 没有语言了

我想 这世界 也就没有爱了

当这世界所有的情情爱爱的枯萎了

海还是不会枯 石还是不会烂

所以 爱情是一种情绪吗？

是什么样的情绪

足以让人赌上一生

以致肝肠寸断

以致得不偿失

爱情也许不是一种情绪

爱情是很多人对自己不理智的理由

是因为不理智 所以爱情

还是因为爱情 所以不理智

有一天 当彼此的故事结束

庸庸碌碌纷纷扰扰 只剩 淡淡红尘一抹清风

蓝天啊 白云啊

他们像不曾看见我们相爱般 无动于衷

而我的回忆 任由岁月猛烈的侵蚀

一直到 我都忘了 究竟 我们曾经的这么一段

当然

海没枯  石没烂

悬崖边风依旧很急

汹涌的浪拍打的是我记忆里边的那一段空白

变换的云焦急的是我情绪里边的那一段纠结

此刻矗立于大地  竟感海阔天空

原来忘了你 就可以成就我的海阔天空

原来除了你 我的世界什么 都不剩

原来 都是 你

没有你 我的世界焕然一新

新得一尘不染 新得空空荡荡

wish: somebody to talk to

2011 already. 7th january was once so far away
and now its less than a week
they call this "around the corner"
well whatever approaching is approaching
ending comes right after approaching
now thats optimist  =D

2011 oh 2011
I havent made any wishes yet.
some of my wishes from 2010 is still on the way
and this time, all i ever care would be this exam and the following internship
may god bless the best for me.

and there's something i realized
there was once a tarot aunty advised me to think more for myself
be not that idealess, let people know my stand
Her words did affected me of course  which is definitely beyond my expectation
Someone once told me horoscope, fengshui, zodiac this kind of story is a result of quantitative study
they don't come from nowhere, its like a detailed study instead of some wonder stories
thats surprising. never thought they actually were such scientific outcome.. err, mathematical i mean.

so i turned down an invitation which i dont feel appropriate attending
as i was sick plus i am not going to eat a thing
maybe tarot aunty was right, i should try to show some stand
Things should be done in a way that pleased both side, not either one, and not neither one.
ya. i'm learning still.

its good to take advice.
regardless of you actually believe or care, at least you get another point of view on your life.

alright.
and i thought i should say something bout this gap between people.
but it turned out tarot aunty took the place
well next time perhaps.
happy 2011 leekahinn. still, may my life Quietly Fantastic.

"Because Love means facing your biggest fear"

--Nice quote.

and Life, goes on. =)

1 year

52 weeks

365 days

and i still remember i sat here in the exactly same position

counting for 2010

and i am now doing it for 2011

life pass eh

like what my friend says

it always turn out that when you sit down trying to figure something out of this one whole year

but the brain always chose to malfunction

yea. always.

isnt it.

guess i'm old enough to be sensitive to time

sometimes a new year means a lot

especially to those who lost

i dont know what else can i wish for

i dont wanna waste it on a too specific wishh

so maybe the ordinary one will do.

may i have a quietly fantastic life of 2011

and may i have the chance to be whom i wanna be

=)

Hakuna Matata

Quietly Fantastic

and Life, goes on.