So long, farewell~

Its deceiving if I were to say I Worship him, Love him…

But that doesn’t mean I do not CARE bout a thing of him.

I do care about something from everything. WHY?

Maybe because I LOVE to discover the scandalous part deep in one self.

For now that MJ is dead, the first thing for me to think of is that,

“owh! MJ also can die de lo?!”

Sincerely, as he is so SUPERSTAR that is totally unreachable for me,its kinda hard for me to think of him as an ordinary person like me…TRUE! Just like how Nate’s affairs hold a big hole on my mouth. SIMPLY UNBELIVABLE.

I hardly remember any deep memory between me n MJ the GREAT. The only thing that runs around my mind is the song “You are not alone”…ohya, and the “we are the champion”…I’m not that sure bout the song’s title…But that the only impression of me towards MJ.

For sure I remember the moonwalk thing and those bombastic moments when MJ used to rule (till now he still rules, I know). These few days, I read from newspapers. Most of them mentioned about MJ leading a stressful life…since he was small…GOSH!!! Since you people knew about this, why anyone didn’t step out to voice something for him, to do something for him. If you see people beside you, damn-freakin-ly STRESSED, at least you’ll put your hands on his/her shoulder, with the saying “Keep holding on.”

Is it simply because he is a SUPERSTAR so he is determined to be the stressful ones, and is meant to entertain everyone but himself? The cause of death is yet to be found out. Since he had shut his eyes and his hope, maybe he just need the moment of peace which every SUPERSTAR dreamed for day and night.

Hold on the candle, do REST IN PEACE.

Some people search for LOVE, Some people DIES for LOVE,

Some people……found LOVE only when they’ve lost their belief on it.

Quotation again from the movie “Benjamin Button”,

“When it comes to the end, you can only just let it go…”

With love, to the world.

Hoping for peace, which is IMPOSSIBLE.

Sometimes, beliefs are there for beautifying the world. They could have been a total lie. But if believing it makes my life feels better, I’ll do. Even it seems SILLY.

**************************************

MJ, you’re the LEGEND. You brought People together…a STAR fell off, tailing a lot of memory.

You're not alone-Michael Jackson
Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For You are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
And You are not alone
All alone lone
Why, oh
Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
So forever can begin
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For You are not alone)
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
And you are not alone
Oh~~~
Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
Fly...
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there
And You are not alone
I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
And You are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
You are not alone(You are not alone)
For I am here with you(I am here with you)
Though you're far away(Though you're far away)
I am here to stay(And you with me)
For you are not alone(You're always)
In my heart.....For I am here with you
Heart.....Though we're far apart
Heart.....You're always in my heart
For You are not alone
Not alone
You are not alone, you are not alone...
You just reach for me girl
In the morning in the evening
Not alone, not alone
And you with me, not alone

This is my NOW, i'm living every moment

"The countdown started a few days before. I’m the only one who thought by acting ignorant, nothing’s gonna change…After all, it has been such a USUAL practice."

Again, I’d like to talk about something, which EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU will definitely shout to my face that I really am damn OUTDATED.

~so SOOOO WHAT? I’m still a rock star.

::GOSSIP GIRLS::

Yea yea YEA, I know its so HISTORICAL for you, but I only get to watch the FINALE for season 2 this afternoon. Like Chuck decided to end this whole thing with the FINAL CONFESSION of “I LOVE YOU TOO”, I’d like to clarify something to myself. And the title, “Why am I so into this Gossip Girl thing?”

I didn’t love it because it contrast out how pathetic my high school was.

I didn’t love it because I’m a lil’ stupid girl who interest in every relevant n irrelevant gossips.

I didn’t love it because those mean girls were as idiot as my classmates…

I didn’t love it because NateArchibald, please, chuck is my all time favorite.

Well, ok, maybe, MAYBE part of me love me with minor percentage of the above reasons, which is actually IGNORABLE…As the XOXO speech came out in the end, I was alone in my hostel, with EMO emotions. WHY? Because it rains, AGAIN! (still, that’s a different story, a story about how raining makes me EMO each and everytime…)

I barely remember each and every scene or even part of the tv series, but uhm, I had permanent marks on every scene that drag me into deep and long thoughts.

I JUST LOVE THIS TV SERIES because at some point, I figure things out through it.

There are always times that I feel so bad ‘bout different people or reasons, and I believe none of you is free from this problem. As I watch, I saw how Serena told Blair to stay and fight in season 1 when everyone is behind her even the innocent jenny. It’s real hard to stay in somewhere where everyone shut you off their life, and keep whispering behind you and acted nothing when you look at them. With this, I know that there are several people which my life would get so soooo sucks without them beside.

And then, I saw chuck got so MISERABLE when his mighty dad goes down by a stupid accident.

They are father and son which hardly talk nicely for more than 5 sentences without threatening and teasing and scolding. But still, he is the FATHER, he is the SON. The bonding is in their blood. As far as my memory goes, I hadn’t been close to my parents nor family. I always alienate myself in my own little bubble. It’s not that they are like BART BASS kind of person who keeps files of my everyday life. It’s just that, everytime I try to tell them a lil’ bout my friends, my life, they acted interest-less and even worst, they always scold me for those stories told. At first, I felt angry and I’d shout back to them. Later, I became speechless with all those topics they brought up. And Finally, I ended up a mute one whenever I’m with them. I’d rather they don’t know a thing of me than hearing their negative descriptions on my friends and my life which I actually pretty proud of. I mean, whats the point for me to share and them keep on criticizing? Might as well choose to keep TOTAL SILENT even if that makes them angry sometimes and kept me IGNORED all times…

Coming up, I wanna talk about LILY BASS.

She resembles those parents that are willing to review what they’ve done to their kids and WILL APOLOGIZE. She looked at Serena as mirror of her younger self. She does scold her, She does blame her which it ended up a TOTAL MISTAKE, She does appear to be kinda dictatorial somehow…Despite all these, what should be highlighted is that she APOLOGISE!!! For my parents, they hardly admit that they’re wrong. They blame everything / everyone which is reachable for example, their daughter (ME). I used to be so frustrated but now, I’ve used to it. I know how to pretend like I’m deaf and mute to protect my DIGNITY…haha…kinda hyperbolic? Possible…

Might be that its CHILDISH to hope for those apologizes. After all, its Penang Malaysia, not the Upper EastSide of The Manhattan. We’re still conventional at some point. Parents are still high on the Monarchy even though they pretended like they tried so hard to befriend with us. They held the FINAL DECISION as the federal courts…Where the furthest for us to go for, is still under the category of Subordinate Court…Their superior courts are way beyond our RIGHTS…what we can do? Accept, Smile hardly, and …….SIGHSSss….

Remember Blair told lil’ J that “to be QUEEN, you have to be mean.”

I love how Blair talks, she can actually use her mouth ONLY to attack and to take down the whole SCHOOL…

*******************************************

Serena shows me that freedom is to be used in forming GORGEOUS LIVES, not to ruin one.

Blair shows me that you’re the only one to be relied on to defend yourself.

Nate shows me that seemingly perfect person is person who breath the same air with me, its NO BIG DEAL at all.

Chuck shows me that even the cold-blooded, having-sex-only animal knows the phrase “I LOVE YOU TOO”.

Jenny shows me that past experience which should be felt ashamed of will fade, what counts, is NOW AT THE PRESENT.

Dan shows me that dreams are just great even we just had it instead of having it.

Vanessa shows me that when things happen outta expectations, we’ll just deal with it, who cares if its negatively or positively, have a drink, and phewww, its gone!

At the end, Gossip Girl shows me that its okey to LOVE, afterall, its your own life that you’re gonna live on with.

The fairy tale of Queen B-Prince N ended, but turned a new page with the NYU Blair Waldorf herself, kissing with the Chuck Bass which eventually learn to LOVE in a normal way…

Between, if Blair is okey with the NYU, what’s so big deal for me in this TARCollege? My life is still gonna be GORGEOUS because I’m the one leading it! Its my life, my way…QUIETLY FANTASTIC``

My life is not determined simply by which college I went, its bout ME. In my world, I’m the apex, I’m the only one that matters in my own bubble of life.

This is my now. I own LeeKahInn. More than everyone else, I love myself!!!

"As per what SERENA or BLAIR said, its our day, we shouldn’t let gossip girl take it over.

Smile in every situation, better, LAUGH. Its our life, our day, our moment. WE RULE!"

tips of the day, sincerely partly from BLAIR:
"if you're not the person others said you are,
PROVE IT.to yourself
for those "others"?
who cares for those tiny brain anyway?!"