The story goes this way:

My photo
We are all so alike yet we are totally different.
人生苦短何必念念不忘

Friday 31 December 2010

我不喜欢我妈妈的激将法
我不喜欢我妈妈的话中话
我不喜欢我阿嬤的反义词
我不喜欢我阿嬤的酸溜溜

我他妈的不爽我什么都没有讲

不要因为我年轻 就判我年少轻狂的罪
我年轻 我挥霍 我疯狂 这就是我的生活态度
我知道家的方向
我只是正值日正当空
想要勇敢的去闯 想要去看世界的模样
花朵没有绽放它不会凋谢
青春没有轻狂我不会甘愿

我是认真的
像对待我的生活那样认真

Thursday 30 December 2010

不曾远去

“终于懂了时间的重量”
--爷爷, 曹格

生了场病 人也懒了
什么是时间的重量
就像人家说的 你永远不会了解失去
一直到你懂得无法挽回

抽象

抽象的东西其实是不是幻想出来的
年底了 考试时间表搞砸了一切
没有生日了
没有二十岁
阿牛说的对 二十岁了咯 长大了 该开心吼

慢慢学着去感受时间的重量
慢慢去承认有些东西失去了就是失去了
哪怕是几年的感情 哪怕是多么珍惜的情谊
一切只剩下不断发黄的照片
啊 连照片也没有了 数码的时代 没有实物的悲哀

时间的重量啊
以前阿公说我们家要一代比一代好
原来那不仅仅是一句祝福
那里面还有自己无能为力的遗憾 和 深深的冀望

一年将尽的此时此刻
我坐在原地想要留下点什么
才发现原来自己所有的不多
瞬时间也不知道有什么应该被埋下
日子就这么无聊的过
生活还不算糟 可就是无聊

当所有所有字句 变成两行泪
我把故事好好的复习 收藏
好久以后 等泪都 风干了
等世界 都遗弃了这个故事的时候
泛黄的现象 会提醒我 那些动荡不安的日子里
这一份回忆 它不曾远去

留不住任何人的时候
不再懂得思考的时候
我只希望听到 不曾远去

每一个星光黯淡的夜晚
我用眼泪折射每一道搜集到的光芒
务必制造星光灿烂的假象
可说谎的人都懂
真实 要用勇气来换

有一天 假象撑不住了
勇气也留不下了
真实 它还是来了

Tuesday 28 December 2010

alright. confession, i'm officially sick.
damn, saying this make me look horrible
i was looking into the mirror just now
my face look horrible. as if i'm dying for aids.

DUH!

not attending classes until the exam day
i am sick, couldnt really prepare for my exam.
and i found out that there's a person which i regarded to be my (once) best friend has been active in her another circle of friends.
felt not quite right. we used to have problems asking her out but it seems like,
she only has problem hanging out with us
its ok. i got the message now. you ditched me from being friend.
i'll leave you alone. as if we were never even close\
my anger is now triggered
but its gonna alright till the end
IT WILL BE ALRIGHT

i still have friends who cares about me.
i'll take your backing out as a lesson that loving someone doesnt necessary gain return
but its a good experience to take.

Monday 27 December 2010

我年轻过,你们呢,老过么?

终于还是习惯了报平安
今天了解了一件事 公主王子的故事 之所以美丽 因为没有把婆媳关系写进去
刚刚一路跟着姐姐的车 突然觉得自己像个孩子一样被人担心
像孩子一样
感觉还真挺特别的

今天看人家说故事说到流眼泪
也许这个世界永远都无法被我看破吧
我一直很向往爱情公寓里边的生活
每天的工作就是活得很快乐
爱情公寓真的是我最爱的电视剧 能让我看到把台词都背下来的差不多就它了
有自己喜欢的东西毕竟是好的



之前听人家说 “哇 你女儿都结婚去了 你总算可以享享清福 含饴弄孙 了”
但今天所看到的 没有
含饴弄孙的定义到底到哪里
每天为了孙子忙来忙去 把自己的身子都搞垮了 这样 也叫 含饴弄孙?那这算哪门子祝福
孩子结婚 做父母的 却还得担心门面没有做好 让人家给笑话了
结了婚 还要担心孩子在别人家里过得好不好 就怕让人家瞧不起
长忧九十九 原来就是这个
不简单的吧



那天其实很接近风光大嫁了 但原来背后有很多无声的纠缠
我只是被震撼住了 原来 幸福 只是个传说
现实的社会老早就教会了我 不要相信传说

唉 世界那么大 我不过是个 孤独的 根号三。

这辈子 我就剩一个梦想了:
我想拥有一幢小房子 可能是我的房子 跟别人的不太一样吧
我理想中的房子啊 屋顶是杏仁糖片 烟囱是烤猪肉卷 床是蜜糖红枣糕 枕头全都是水晶虾饺 下雨下的是葡萄干 下雪下的是棒棒糖 屋外随处可见小笼灌汤包 河里流的全是皮蛋瘦肉粥 河里游的天上飞的都是熟的 我哼一声它们就自动排着队往我嘴里跳 天上的云是棉花糖 地上的石头是红烧肉。


我要的房间 :

Sunday 26 December 2010

婚礼结束了

原来这就是舍不得
三姐的背影我记得很清楚
小时候总是被我跟头跟尾的那个姐姐
今天嫁了。
我看着她在跟宾客握手的时候心里莫名的纠结
我真的把她当我姐姐
她跟我说早上离开家的时候其实很想哭 看着妈妈爸爸其实鼻头一阵酸劲涌上来 可是妆会糊掉 所以硬是忍住
我今天一直跟在她身旁 看头看尾的帮忙打点
头纱掉了我帮她 口渴了我拿水 婚纱乱了我整理 口红糊了我提醒
突然有一种回到过去的错觉 可这次不再是她频频回望我这个小妹妹了
而是我看着她的背影 慢慢重整她和我的所有故事
以前她总会跟我说很多她的感情事 也许因为我都听不懂 所以她没有压力
但我很珍惜每次半夜和她一起躺在床上 听她说她的烦恼 听我说我的烦恼
最后一个姐姐也结婚了 不是亲姐姐 但却是我唯一的三个姐姐
我也不知道原来我的反应这么大
姐姐嫁了 我感到的是不舍 而这种不舍 我小心翼翼的收藏 我就这么三个姐姐
这辈子 我就这么三个姐姐 三个上帝另外补还给我的姐姐
我庆幸我接下了伴娘的工作 我庆幸我延续了三个姐姐的伴娘都是自己的妹妹的传统
谢谢把我当成家人


三姐,新婚愉快。
我真的长大了 不再需要你一直转过头来看我
我会顾好你的礼服 我会自己走的四平八稳
我会自己找东西吃 我会自己解决问题
 我会自己过得很好
祝你 百年 好合
<3



Saturday 25 December 2010

let it snow


christmas.
busy morning ended. feeling long
tiring but wished it last a bit more longer
didn get to talk much with my sister
though i'm right beside her all the time
she was busy here and there

my wish this year for christmas would be a happy marriage for her.
and since i've been really nice kid this year, i think santa would allow me for 3 wishes.
the 2nd wish will be a new handphone or even better if my current one stop presenting trouble.
the 3rd would be me wishing myself all the very bestest best on my studies n internship n EXAMS.


merry christmas everyone
for those in my life, you're fuckin perfect to me
just live on
=)

Quietly Fantastic

Friday 24 December 2010

truly madly deeply

how weird.
i should have sat down making up plans for my Christmas
like food. like hanging out. like FUN.
that was before. i knew christmas is not going to hit me this year.
my sister is getting married. the youngest sister.
she is 9 years older than me. i have photo she carrying me when i was a baby at her age of 9.
and then, its her wedding tomorrow.
how time pass eh.

never feel the speed. we never realize the growing until we're finally grown.
its like pandorum. you never know what's out there and you never know where you actually stood on.
when. where. who. why.

i feel weird at this point of time.
i was only 14 when 2nd sister got married. and all i care was the food the food the food and the food.
probably because i wasnt that close with her back then.
all i recall was she bringing me adventuring to penang island all the way from that lil estate.
we took taxi, stand on bus, rushed for ferry. she got me a bun on the ferry.
even until now, i still buy myself buns from ferry. reminding me of whom i used to be.
reminding me of my sisters.

i was bornt in a normal family. the abnormal part would be i don't talk to my only siblings.
not until i was in tertiary. then we started msn n facebook.
and i always wished for sisters. like those in movie
where sisters will lie down on bed side by side sharing gossips and secrets
someone i could talk to about my dreams and most of all, fear.
thank god slot me into such a position with 3 non-blood related sisters.
i guess my life would be real dull without them.

my youngest sister. sanjie sanjie. thats how i used to call her.
when i was a kid, she gets me doughtnut everyday from her high school.
that was the only reason i sit still aiming at the door every noon sparing my babysitter(her mum) a few moment to prepare lunch.
i'd run so soooooo quickly to her to grab my doughnut. heavenly-tasted.
and i could barely remember the first time i try the curry of roti canai.
i used to have it with sugar or plain.
and that day the 3 sisters told me the curry is not spicy at all. and yea, i tried a small small piece.
pa-re-pu. that was before i learn pronouncing.
from that point of time, until today i sitting here, searching every stories i had with them.
back in that small small house where electricity always go out and we play shadows and candles.
back in those days where i play ma-ma-sak with chopped flowers and leaves.
back in the time I cried so horribly when i realized that wasnt my real home, and its time for the real one.

and how did i, how did i reach here.sitting here in the middle of the night.
undeniably i am really growing. i knew that. but it just touched so much at this particular moment.
my sister is getting married.

the one who'd drag me to go round penang island searching for food.
the one who tried her first hair-cutting on me.
the one who cut my hair for years free of charge
the one who brought me around in her lil kancil
the one i used to go behind and shout "sanjie sanjie"

and now she is getting married
i dont know why. i feel sad. very very sad.
sometimes i felt like i've walk so far and i feel tired.
that was when i started wondering how about others.

time moves on, leaving stains here and there.
sometimes in the middle of the night, you accidentally touch that one stain that you never really aware of.
then you cry yourself to sleep.
waking up the next day with a wet pillow and blanket, and a thanking heart.

i couldnt finish this. i'm flooding myself.
i need time, to carefully handle those stains, rearranging them.

Wednesday 22 December 2010

the sequence go this way.
i was trying to fit in the lens and then out of no where, it disappear from my finger. as if it dissolved into the air.
then i tried searching for it which i thought 80% to be around my HugeOldDirty mirror.
i couldnt find and i searched underneath and i shifted the chair which the mirror sits on.
the mirror slide down from the chair and quite a large portion of the bottom part went broken.
i, with the emotion of fail-find-an-urgently-needed-thing and the feeling or frustration, tried to reach to the mirror and put it back to the place it should have been.
the mirror slide again once my hand got touch with it.
then i see a bleeding hand, a broken mirror, a mad reflection of myself, and, no lens found.
that particular moment, i only want an ice cold beer by the sea shore. where i can shout like some insane person with no social responsibility.

i wonder where i got such concentrated bad luck. which last concentrically for 30 minutes.
oh great. and now the monkey is ji ji ji ji by my window.

i am mad. as mad as yoiu can imagine. even more.

so now i have a bleeding thumb, a one-side empty lens case, a broken mirror, a bunch of monkeys beside, a horrible mood, and alone.

damnit. i accidentally click dunno where and the page load me to dashboard for a while

whatthehell. when i'm unlucky can i just sleep?
oh no i cant. i have a book thick of record on me falling down my bed.
shit. this is all bullshit.

then i got a seller on the phone
then my frens are here.

lucks are turning back to me. with a big smile.
i was mad
and i almost went hazelnut

Tuesday 21 December 2010

沿着海岸线奔跑 寻找属于我们的岛

第36个故事
桂纶镁林辰曦

第36个故事,桂纶镁林辰曦

谈的是价值观 对我来说是挺新的一个
之前看的都会比较趋向某人在心里的价值
一些比较想象得到的吧我觉得
这一次却没有多少着墨在这一块 反而比较注重所谓的交流
桂纶镁林辰曦的搭配多多少少为电影加了很多分(整个就好看起来了)
桂纶镁一直都很强 蓝色大门开始就有一种票房气质内涵的保证
林辰曦很新吧 之前都在小荧幕 现在看下来觉得跟桂纶镁实在是搭
这两个人的总结就是一个舒适平静的故事氛围

看多了这种电影 常常都会被人家问说所谓的这种比较有气质的电影
好像所说的都是一些比较不实际的故事 有一点 太离谱 不靠谱
可能吧 沉睡的青春里面也挺离谱的 但出发点还是有的

像这一类的 “城市电影” 其实算是近几年的热门
可能城市的人都寂寞 是一种羞于说出口的寂寞
很多人都觉得寂寞 那就多交些朋友 多去派对 狂欢
但阿桑也说了 狂欢 是一群人的孤单
每个人都觉得有一部分的自己需要被听见

所以现在推出的电影 都会努力的多撒些寂寞的调味料
无非就是希望 观众可以感到那一份孤单无阻的共鸣
孤单就像恐惧 是一份情结 无法真的正面面对 因为那是来自你心底 慢慢扩大的一种黑暗
从内到外的吃食着你的每一份理智
寂寞的人总是觉得世界是灰色的 但其他人却觉得寂寞的人过于敏感加多愁善感
但这不怪他们 寂寞是由内而外的不断衍生
别人无法窥到你的内心 所以你寂寞
别人无法窥到你的寂寞 所以他不解

第36个故事  可能是桂纶镁林辰曦 我还没有看我就喜欢
天生的演员啊 从下看到美女 眼就圆!
有人说这部戏的以物换物加咖啡店加故事加梦想加爱情 有点过于老掉牙
那种从小就想开咖啡店的所谓梦想  大街上一块招牌掉下来砸死10个人 10个可能都有类似的梦想
这就是那种很美的梦想 每个人都希望自己有一个平台 一个人来人往 留下不一样的故事的平台
而咖啡店正正就符合这一个特性 还添了些浪漫的元素
有些梦想啊 你有我有他也有 但只要我们其中一个人实现了 其他人都会祝福的

因为有一些梦想 实现后所绽放的光芒 也许像流星般的一聚而逝 也许像彩虹般七彩缤纷
但那都是自己所梦寐以求的美 人生得而此景 了无遗憾

第36个故事 我也希望有家咖啡馆
像等一个人咖啡那样的咖啡馆
像朵儿咖啡馆那样的咖啡馆
一个 我们交换故事的咖啡馆
可  谁不是呢?

所以折衷的结果就是我在这里说我的的故事
努力点去收集别人的故事


故事拼拼凑凑 情绪层层叠叠
生活虚虚实实 画面断断续续

得到的都是侥幸 逝去的都是人生

有些话说起来悲 但他让你晓得 你不寂寞

life lingers.

i don't know what i want.
and that's kinda bad.
can abandon be phrased in such a way that being a week away and all you got is 456465786 in junk mail box and 0 in inbox.
damn i hate honesty at this point.
popular intro me this singer, RUMER.
her songs had been playing since yesterday night
i thought it was supposed to calm me down
but it only dragged my mood down.
still down, but an undesirable one.

she told me i'm filial
ohgod how flattering
that was like the best praise i've got so far
no one ever talk to me about how i took my family
maybe that's the pros of meeting all different kind of people
you get to talk about different topics and get inspired

i'm still in the early stage eh
need not rush
couldn't get a movie for tomorrow
wondering would it be alright to be alone for horror movies

i love how Rumer haunt me in my every thought
it seems to be like a cursed or something which will constantly goes round your mind
its like a background music of my mind
like i said, i like how her voice HAUNT me.

popular really get it this time
=)

having nothing in mind make room for sorrows
when you start the first bite on sorrow you never stop crying
something like wasabi. you can't explain but your body response will go automatic.
there was a friend once asked that no one ever thought us about sorrow grief or regrets
but it seems like everyone do know well on these feelings thing
is there a cut off line?
why is it that everyone know what is empty-ness when no one ever defined it well with a perfect example?

maybe feeling is abstract.
and maybe when someone feels negative,
they dont care is it sad regret hurt grief loneliness sorrow or whatever
its just something to be posted on facebook to invite comforts
when someone feels negative, it simply means things gone the way they werent expected to.
gone wrong. gone wild.
gone away.

like i said, i can never get enough of this life.
and i'm not sure if that's a good thing.
but with current mood, things gone well.its my thinking that gone wild.
desires grow. wonders triple. worries always. life lingers.

*i'll carry you everywhere, everywhere, so i don't forget*
-Blackbird, Rumer

Monday 20 December 2010

ya.i relied too much

she told me that I should have told.
tell people what I think. do not expect people to know
be myself. and she says i always chicken out when i have to give opinion.
she says, i worry what others might feel.
and when i thought of asking questions i dont know what to ask
i dont know what's wrong
but her words keep playing around my mind
maybe that inner me thought she is right.
maybe this is the first time i met someone that had gave me advice right on my face
maybe i'm still accepting the fact that there're people who understand me better than i do
its hard when all you believed ruptured and you're feeling relief instead of WTH
i guess this is the first time people really tell me that "you have to be yourself and start telling others what you think." that means a lot. Not everyone understand that fear of losing friends.
they say its either you're hot and you have all you want, or else you will know, how hard one has to try to hold back everything.
fear to lose does it all.

this is the very first time, someone dare me to be myself.
I thought i would be strong enough for that. but somehow when someone tell you right on your face what you've been doing, it is so weird that you feel like, wow.

towards the end, she look at me and softly says that she wanted me to be myself. tell others what i think.
i felt nothing on that instance, but as i think back. it does mean something.

i think she made her point. ya. i relied too much.

she even said i have too  much pressure..
maybe.

Friday 17 December 2010

pieces of me. (2)

lol! was trying GIF!! 
and i think GIF is real fun.
a friend. who happens to be the only one person appearing in my camera and my photos.
pathetic me.

pieces of me.

mixed.

kadangkala, i feel very 难以抉择 on language apa to write 我的 blog.
and 我 very the 好奇 到底 我 actually 是不是 the one as per my imaginasi
才发现 rupa rupanya language参在sekali 更难用

最近的 memory semakin bad
everytime dengan idea yang amat 值得被 记下来
selalunya forget in 一瞬间

everytime also same
有一样东西 spining dalam otak
but as it spin, "PHEW!"N  its gone
frustrating.

155839_479347325689_754050689_5619329_2046357_n.jpg (540×720)

Thursday 16 December 2010

义海 豪情 羁绊

47580_479351300689_754050689_5619386_4620057_n.jpg (720×540)
刚刚看完义海豪情。义海豪情。怎么念都觉得这个名字很热血。
我没有看过巾帼枭雄 但波涛汹涌的好评是诚实的。
义海是我最近看tvb 觉得结尾做得很不错 超级好的
总觉得电视剧的结局 如果做得好 就会整个很加分
一个掷地有声的结局 多多少少都会掩盖前面的洒狗血

其实里面的好多课题其实都是典型战争剧会出现的
比如 表里不一的大好人 比如 患难见真情的比翼鸟 比如 无漏偏逢连夜雨的倒霉鬼
比如 贪生怕死乃至人神共愤的贱种 比如 为钱吵为家吵的穷夫妻
所以其实现在 看戏 最重要的还是包装
故事角色的背景 场景 时间点 曲折度 一切都会把这部剧的诚意摊在阳光下

毕竟是TVB的重头剧 而且是巾帼枭雄的续摊 资金一定很多啊
颁奖礼的时候 我觉得 黎耀祥和陈豪 绝对有得拼 干 看完了 我觉得 黎耀祥拿定的啊
干 刘醒整个活过来了 病重的妹妹 出轨的太太 患难的真情
反而邓萃雯的九姑娘算是中规中矩 而且 胡定欣的丽华也没有想象中的那样大暴走
我还以为会有一段九姑娘大战丽华小妹妹的故事

其实整部剧 就一个结局收服了我 从九姑娘在船上开始 我就一路飙泪到 最后一幕
电视剧毕竟不是人生  不是三言两语就有办法感动
人家活了几十年 我们不可能及实际就把故事完美的传达
故事本身有瑕疵是正常的 一整段故事拍下来 总有些取舍 总有些东西无法还原
所以我很注重氛围的创造 就像以前的王子变青蛙 背景音乐的选择 和奏乐点的选择
看一部戏 就是要在看完了整套后 却就是觉得心里沉甸甸的 这就是我所谓的好戏
整部戏看下来 到结局的时候其实长度刚刚好
但是总有一点就是故事有时过于拖拉 有时却过于轻描淡写
但没关系 这一些我都收下了 因为结局 太好了

也许这部戏一直都在传达的 就是这首歌在唱的吧?

"世间什麼爱叫纯洁 处在绝望仍力竭
留守最尾一起 哪怕历劫"
真的唱对了 什么样的感情 可以饱经风霜几十年?
是在绝望的时候的最后希望
是挣扎求存的唯一理由
是单纯的 羁绊

好一个羁绊。
羁绊 比友情饱满 比爱情扎实 - 九把刀

“雨水冷洗情不会淡 猛风再吹而不散
然而眉目恍惚飘散 有一丝慨叹


163916_479347555689_754050689_5619332_733085_n.jpg (720×540)


吴卓羲 - 红蝴蝶  (TVB电视剧《巾帼枭雄》主题歌曲)

作词:陈诗慧 作曲:叶肇中、邓智伟

雨水冷洗情不会淡 猛风再吹而不散
愁云和月之间 也不孤单
你足以倾城的两眼 较花与草还璀璨
然而眉目恍惚飘散 有一丝慨叹
流水透彻出我俩 沿路满布风霜也雪亮
天空灰暗 爱得到了景仰
世间什麼爱叫纯洁 你甘愿化振翅红蝴蝶
饱经挫折 伤口淌血都不至会磨灭
世间什麼爱叫纯洁 处在绝望仍力竭
留守最尾一起 哪怕历劫
举杯畅饮河边秀美 奏一阙曲传千里
斜阳随著清风 已幽幽泛起
你的美比繁花更美 我心却只能希冀
红蝴蝶漫天飞很美 我一生铭记
流水透彻出我俩 沿路满布风霜也雪亮
天空灰暗 爱得到了景仰
世间什麼爱叫纯洁 你甘愿化振翅红蝴蝶
饱经挫折 伤口淌血都不至会磨灭
世间什麼爱叫纯洁 处在绝望仍力竭
留守最尾一起 哪怕历劫
世间什麼爱叫纯洁 你甘愿化振翅红蝴蝶
饱经挫折 伤口淌血都不至会磨灭
世间什麼爱叫纯洁 处在绝望仍力竭
留守最尾一起 哪怕历劫

Tuesday 14 December 2010

i could never get enough of this life. never.

enjoy surfing the net in the morning
hostel is kinda cool lately
i was freezing the whole last night
i don't like it this way. it feels like the day after tomorrow + 2012
last test today. excluding exams.
feels like going out for a shooting. then i realized i have not even develop my lomo photos
its cool this way isnt it
i should be having plenty to be done this current
packing studying preparing
packing is a big project, it was about choosing what to bring but no more now, its about fitting every rubbish into a bag.

its an end now. almost for this semester. a 4 subject semester is definitely easier then a 5.
i have time sitting down for intern, for future direction
i was in the mall the other day wandering among beautiful clothes
there's a lot of them but i picked none
and since i'm trying to be a lil sentiment, its not going to be about size.
the clothes are arranged well. discounted items. new arrival. different styles for different occasions.
i remembered EY's talk in my school
they mentioned something like if you're a art-related, you can have purple hair, red shoes, green outfits.
but accounting is rather conserve on this matter
you need to look professional (which in my extent: dull)

"there will be one day in the future you wear what others expected you to.and you no longer wear what you love, and slowly, you forget."

and there was once i heard it from a friend, she says that kids nowadays wear long dresses, high heels, and one day, they will finally realize, they never had the kids image. which is why its important to live the current.

i could never get enough of this life. never.

tumblr_lcusghVyI61qavmcho1_500.gif (500×220)

Monday 13 December 2010

not really blog heavily these days
been realizing and a bit bit shocked 
the archives amount is really something

and i was merely trying the so called new b-i-d
hmm.
with some randome photos.
both i like

network


this is a perfect timing to watch "the social network" I'd say
i mean, after stories like that suicide boy
i went for this movie today
it was on the list all the while but the decision for today was sudden
=)

the movie itself is impressing. honestly, i'd like to go in again.
its the one movie that i go in expecting a boring storyline but come out blogging about
the last time i had high expectations was on "vampire sucks"
it could be that the director decided to emphasize on the "sucks" part
the movie turned out BAD. the trailer was good, but the movie. URM. YEA. RIGHT.
damnit i wanna talk about the social network.

alright. here's the thing. I think the best part of the story is that its true in such a way that
mark zuckerberg is a nerd. nerds do computers. that's my ....only impression?
he is an asshole nerd. like the facemash. like the blog-bad-about-that-girl-who-dump-me. like the dilution of eduardo's share. 30% to 0.03%. i would have done a crime by that.

this is my type of movie. where the sentences made me go "woooooooo!"
and i'm still browsing for movies.
guess movies are the best thing in life one can ever ask for.

and i'm trying to imagine how do you squeeze everything into 2 hours.
its like people live a life, and all you got is 2hours to show.
that makes the whole film making go awesome possum
sometimes i'm thinking the possibility of me getting involve in any tiny part of the process
stories telling is the best job. they makes wonders.
a good story teller makes the stories SHIMMERS
and a bad one, they go straight to the point. short, and UNsweet.
for example,

  • cinderella: work hard, be patient, good life comes.
  • actual: work hard, sneak to the party even you're not allowed to, OVERdress to draw attention
  • snow white: work hard, be nice, good life comes.
  • actual: run away from home. live with 7 SHORT men. let some random guy marry you.
  • pinocchio: learn from your mistakes. be a real human.
  • actual: go for a random away. go for awesome weird special experience. get wrong and go home tiring. and be alive again

owh bullshit. what other fairy tales? oh. yea. beauty and the beast.
  • beauty and the beast: never look bad on others. Any beast-looking could be the best person
  • actual: get married. and even the bridegroom looks like shit, tell your parents you gonna love him till the end.
  • Prince Frog(idunnothename): never runaway from promises. miracles starts there.
  • actual: kiss an animal regardless of hygiene issue. and do every single stupid promise demanded by the stupid on the other end. for eg promise a frog that you will kiss it if it helps you to take the ball instead of GO HOME AND GET HELP.

and thats, story telling.

"my soul to take" looks good. ya, we'll see.

*there's a quote in "the social network" that i feel like remembering:
"Students of Harvard believe in inventing jobs more than applying for them"
good concept.


Sunday 12 December 2010

不要太勉强了


感触良多 故事很短 却很扎实
长大了慢慢一个字一个字的去体会
发现自己不晓得什么时候懂了不少
很多东西没有人去教你 但你就是摸索着走过去
自我怀疑究竟念的科系 和我的未来会不会有一座彩虹桥
会计这门东西 我其实并没有学到多少
有人问我学到了什么 我说我没有学到什么所谓的理财
反而 我只是学到了逻辑推理 吧?

朋友说 没关系的 你会学到你需要的

有一个念设计的朋友 他说 他其实并不了解什么是设计
他说 很多时候 努力的半死 却得个桔
他问我是否怀疑过这个决定的对或错

有一个念工程的朋友 他说 他其实一点都没有兴趣了解那些硬邦邦的机器
他说 很多时候 努力的半死 却不知道所为何故
他问我是否怀疑过这个决定的对或错

有一个念商学的朋友 他说 他其实完全不相信所读到的理论
他说 很多时候 努力的半死 却不能打从心里相信很干
他问我是否怀疑过这个决定的对或错

有一个很强的朋友 他从零到有 一步一脚印地走到今时今日
他说 不要以为人生和顺了 就没烦恼了 烦恼其实不取决于你的生活 而是你的态度
有一天他问我 你觉得 我今天的开心和成就 是因为我成功了?还是我实现梦想了?还是我证明了我能人所不能?
我问他什么意思
他说 有的时候很深的夜里 午夜梦回 总有那么一道浅浅的遗憾 刻在心头上 不痛不痒的 但就是心里不舒坦
我说 你不是说人不要太在意小细节
他说 人就是说一套做一套的贱种

我告诉他 我有梦想 我想要四处去 我想要流浪 我想要享受生活
他说 在你编制你的梦想的时候 你总是把最美丽的都放进去 但很多人最后跌得满身伤 因为很多人不了解何谓破釜沉舟
我看着他 我问他是不是也曾这样
他说他没有 他说 我很早就知道了 在编织梦想的时候 最应该标榜的 不是实现梦想后的快乐 而是梦想破灭后的生活该怎么过
他说很多人以为努力地去实现梦想就不会遗憾 但所谓的真不遗憾 其实是完全接受 梦想就是颗星星 远观可以 近触不得
我说励志书上的都不是这么讲的
他说 励志书的作者 一开始也不相当励志书的作者的

生活 总是逼着我们做一些艰难的抉择
每一个编织梦想的人 真的应该先明白 梦想破灭了 生活还是要过
梦想 就像灯泡一样 掉在地上会发出很清脆的声音
但其实碎掉的梦就是碎掉的梦 就是碎屑 像饼干碎屑一样的 只会惹蚂蚁

我想他说的对 有的梦想 适合远观 不要太勉强了
人如果了解看开 就会领悟微笑
近看星星不过是团火 远看才了解那种一闪一闪亮晶晶的意思


他们说 李佳恩是很懂得美化遗憾的人
他们说 这样很好
他们说 他们也是
他们说 也只有这样 所谓的心 才能苟延残喘一辈子

Saturday 11 December 2010

那天买了一本书
“日子再苦,我还是原来的我”
这本书其实今年初我有在另一间书局发现
那个时候觉得封面很好看 书名也很有意思
有拍了张照片的样子

常常在逛书局的时候 发现自己除了九把刀 几乎一无所有
所以抄起了手边的这一本书 结果他就这样来到这里 我的身边


恶透顶

其实这本书是真的如上 但我始终无法适应斯文吧
我其实有点好奇 因为我记得想当初我其实并不期待些什么
不过就买二送一 然后罗志祥在转角遇到爱 和九把刀是好朋友
所以我在选了2本藤井树后随便拾起了一本九把刀“那些年,我们一起追的女孩”
而那天后的一个星期 我又回到同一家书局 打包带走了6本九把刀 杀手就是那个时候迷起的
一直到现在我还是在追九把刀的车尾灯 而藤井树 送人的送人了 不见的不见了

九把刀呢 有时後是觉得颇有成就感的 毕竟当我可以侃侃而谈滔滔江水永不止息的说出每一本九把刀的故事
我为我自己感到骄傲 很骄傲

以前追看少年的时候 有几个人好像和编辑部很熟的样子吧 再加上似乎是个长青读者
所以常常杂志上都看到他们彼此交流
有一句话我一直记到现在 我忘了是谁 好像是个笔名叫“草云”的吧
她在写关于另一个笔名叫美子的女孩 她这么写着:
“美子是个很幸福的女孩 有自己喜欢的东西 喜欢的作家 暗恋的男孩 疼爱的家人” (差不多如此,可能差很多也说不定)

这句话或多或少影响了我 毕竟 我一直的愿望也不过如此
当人家问我 诶 你有没有喜欢的作家
而我开始回答九把刀 然后像坏掉的收音机一样 不停的播放着别人不感兴趣的故事
当然很多人很疑惑地看着我 九把刀?有那么好看吗?

也许吧 我很容易着迷
就像之前的光阴的故事 一旦迷上了 生活差不多就没有了其他
现在还是只要九把刀出新书 钱包就海啸地震
这种着迷 我是压根儿没有想象过
我曾经不了解怎么有人会爱看书 觉得看书是给失眠的人做的无聊事
但今时今日自己最大的愿望却是个可以无限衍生的书架
九把刀的书架那样的书架 干柴烈火里面古天乐家的书架

人生啊 未知总是带来惊喜

而我的九把刀们 各自散落异乡 我现在确定知道在哪里的书只有杀手
哈棒不见了 楼下的房客不见了 二哥哥好像跟杀手在一起
我整个很想飙脏话 可不可以至少让我知道在哪里
你可以不了解那些书本之于我的重要 但你就行个方便 给个通知行不

有一天我想要会一会微如才发现我好久都没有翻楼下的房客了
因为不见了 我整个想把那些人的祖宗十八代给请出来 干
超级无敌所向披靡 干
我真的很想要找到这两本 已经是很久的书了 书局都下架了
算我求你 还我 你他妈的我这个拥有者都求你了 就拜托你行个方便· 抬个贵手
你至少说在哪里 我自己去拿 可以没有 我去拿 干
我真的越想越气 他妈的 我真的无法把这一整大段po上facebook吗
干 不然我也不知道到底谁应该看得见啊 所以到底是谁拿了我的书
他妈的拿这么久 还没有来交代 靠夭 是以为我会通灵吗 我起个乩就找到我的书了吗

干 不写了 他妈的我不爽
他妈的人渣去死团

当你年轻时,以为什么都有答案,可是老了的时候,你可能又觉得其实人生并没有所谓的答案。
每天你都有机会和很多人擦身而过,有些人可能会变成你的朋友 或者是知己,所以我从来没有放弃任何跟人磨擦的机会。  

  有时候搞得自己头破血流,管他呢! 开心就行了。


*we stopped checking for monsters down our bed,
when we realized they were inside us*

sarcastically true.

suicide news all over these days
i mean that i-kill-myself-for-love-and-i-think-i'm-a-hero guy
dang
and what's bad is there's another girl dead of cancer

when you're given a life, you chose to throw it away
when others deserve to live, God took them back

sarcastic life eh

Thursday 9 December 2010

我不过是 比较容易快乐


有些歌 它让你情不自禁的和着
也许河马是可以挺可爱的
我们到动物园去吧

小时候 总是向往
长大后 轻描淡写的却是那么绚烂的过往
偶尔午夜梦回 都怀疑自己的表情还剩多少真诚

好多人都说措辞太直接
也许我真的变了 我一直以为自己的抵御力很低
但后来发现自己总是靠着转来转去的只字片语
以求可以让自己冷静

那天的发狂让我有很大的省思
我还没有沉淀完吧
这几天都很日常的活着
没有多少适合沉淀的机会

今天走路去上课
虽然本来可以漫步却为了买早餐耳边的忙憧憧
最近这里都很阴天 每天都在吹冷风
每天都很挣扎到底要不要带扇子去上课
偶尔想到就快要考试了我还是会担心

自从实习的事情定下来后 我却一直很迷茫
我是真的很想确认我究竟是不是可以适应
但我想知道如果我真的无法
那我要干嘛

当脑海里的一切变得杂乱的时候
就只能狠心的一次过抛开一切

我不知道
就走着瞧吧我想

茫茫到深更 一暝梦 目屎流
人生海海 阮的头顶 一片天

Wednesday 8 December 2010

论冲动 何谓冲动

什么是冲动
就是心里只存在单纯的信念
全身血液燃烧着
有一股莫名的力量在身体里霸道的狂妄
而你的眼里 容不下一句不行
你的心里无法接受一丁点妥协
那一种,就是这个,现在!马上!立刻!

道可道 非常道
今天很冲动的去了两个地方
好奇自己究竟是知不知道钱包失血过多的悲惨消息

但今天不谈钱
我说 花钱不能折衷
阿信说 我的固执 很善良

如果有一件拼了命也想完成的事
那就去吧
也只有奋不顾身的飞蛾扑火
才能向烟火般灿烂的迎向死亡

有人说心有余而力不足
但其实 当你以为你什么都有了的时候
你才发现你其实把你的梦想放在了很遥远另一个山头
而你一路走来 所丢弃的 又岂是现在所有可以替代的

所以如果我的梦想卑微
我会用力地完成它
毕竟有些梦想也许适合远观
但至少,不能一辈子的梦想多如繁星
却让全部犹如流星般直拖着一条长长的遗憾吧?

所以 今晚 我想努力读书
即使 我实在是 爱睡 到 一个 不行
人生 总有不从人愿的时候

但就像精准的失控里面的
“我们就是为了遇到那些好事 才努力生存下来的”

=)

xin hen kong
tian hen da
yun hen zhong
wo hen gu dan que gan bu zou


straights quay today.
and the environment is the best i can ask for
plus the spaghetti i've longed for...

the best day minus tax revision....

Tuesday 7 December 2010

Happiness is a journey not a destination


status:
in the middle of something
missing my friends
settling assignments
mentally preparing for tax revisions
accepting the fact that I will do AXP during internship
living quietly fantastic

awh...
love life eh.
when was the last time i said that?
oh. a sentence ago huh.lol

gratefully signing out
with love
kahinn lee
in the always Quietly Fantastic Life.




**its really important to have the correct blog title.
i mean for me. it was like the title of my life.
something i live on as a centre.. =)
so, Quietly Fantastic.
My motto, my title, my life.

Monday 6 December 2010

life's like a squeezing machine. terrible process, but outcome is always that refreshing juice.

今天是个适合大暴走的日子
我差一点 就精准的失控了
精准的失控啊
freakout.jpg (400×600)

好吧
不好的情绪

検問


但毕竟看开了
总是会看开的
但深深地体会到一念之间
离开朋友家后 一路狂
但谢谢没有偏远正常的思维
一路上夕阳还是一起相挺
思想还在慢慢的矫正过来
今天经历了好多一念之差
这一堂人生的课 我 修的还真辛苦
夕阳无限好 只是近黄昏
情绪也下山吧 随着太阳一起猛烈的燃烧
直到 灰烬
直到连我也认不出来为止


但因为今天 我去了好多没有也不会去的地方
虽然说今天的差点暴走让我很不爽
但其实 也有可取的
毕竟是上帝给我的必修课
应该还有什么留下的
就沉淀看看
世界很大
m.jpg (426×550)

squeeze all you want, and i shall REBOUND WITH A BIG SMILE! --i am strong and tough like spongebob!!!

**sometimes, life's like a squeezing machine. terrible process, but outcome is always that refreshing juice.

Sunday 5 December 2010

Yokohama Tilt Shift

世界小的跟虚拟的一样
总是在高处远瞻的时候
很不可思议地觉得 原来自己也存在这么一幅美丽的风景里边
在好高的地方眺望自己的家 再看自己走过的路
会有一种很无法置信的感觉
好像很遥远

那天意外发现一个新的好地方
可以看到很广阔的我的老地方
就是个地方

那天回家的时候
我不经意地瞄到望后镜
发觉原来我家有一个很适合看日落的地方
那个时候如果可以停车
坐在马路旁 摆上几瓶啤酒
那绝对可以借镜成电影里的结尾片段
有夕阳 有累计一天的疲累 有浪费生活的感慨
其实那天回家心里沉甸甸的
毕竟有些事它还是不尽如我所愿
有些情绪在身体慢动作扩张
一步一步的吃食我的坦荡潇洒
要在当下马上释怀的话 我无法
但我还不到会让不好的事绊着了我前进的路
五月天一路唱着 夕阳一路伴着
到家的时候 就看开了
也许路程远 也许夕阳真太有义气了
人生海海嘛
潮落之后一定有潮起是吧
就多相信点好事
也只能如此了

蔡康永说得很对,
“电视让我们误以为很多事情和我们有关系”
但其实关上电视,我们什么都不是


Yokohama Sunset

没有什么无法摊在阳光下的秘密


人生总是包括了一点点的自圆其说。
看戏的时候总是看到很多义正言辞
但这些义正言辞其实本质上都是相对的
没办法 人生从来就没有一模一样的
不一样的时候我们需要有不一样的决定
人生的每一件事都有它的意义
每一件事都是被安排的我们必须要上的课
我记得不懂在什么八卦杂志看过
好像说是阿信的学长跟阿信说的
“每个人来到这个世界 都有不一样的事情要完成”


有的时候当整个头脑乱成一团的时候
醍醐灌顶需要的通常是普通的几个字
可能因为困惑的时候我们通常都下意识地忽略最简单的吧
我始终很感悟的一句话就是 “一件事情,总会有好多种解决事情的办法”
很多时候我都需要很用力的提醒自己
每一件烦恼其实归根究底都逃不过一个笑话的命运

如果我们的烦恼是无法解决的
那无论多少的烦恼担心心思时间
它都不会被解决
而最终的结果就是我们会慢慢的看开 淡然一笑而不发一语

如果我们的烦恼时可以被解决的
那无论多担心懊悔痛苦难熬
它都是会结束的
而最终的结果还是我们慢慢的看开 淡然一笑不发一语

既然预早就知道最后都是一样的结果
那何不提早行使那份看开的结果?

感悟啊


人生 海海
海海 人生

我特爱五月天这首人生海海
因为它陪我熬过了SPM的非常时期
那个时候脑海一片空白
每天都浑浑噩噩的误以为自己努力的读书
只有空白的考卷有义气的告诉我真相
所以说就让他去

人生海海
总是给我一种大海无量的感觉
我喜欢那种站在悬崖边 张开双手
发现自己原来没有什么秘密
没有什么无法摊在阳光下的秘密
我感激过去的我
让我对得起我自己
谢谢
-Quietly Fantastic-


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