The story goes this way:

My photo
We are all so alike yet we are totally different.
人生苦短何必念念不忘

Tuesday 28 May 2013

Cozy in that yellow submarine


其实爱一个人并不是要跟他一辈子的
我喜欢花,难道我摘下来你让我闻闻?
我喜欢风,难道你让风停下来?
我喜欢云,难道你就让云罩着我?
我喜欢海,难道我就去跳海?
-纵横四海

2012529日,我在部落格里记下了以上的这一段话
是电影“纵横四海”的对白

那个时候,我什么都不知道
不知道一年后的自己是啥子模样
也不知道一年后的自己居然活出了第一个梦

什么都不知道的我,
跟现在的我似乎并无什么差别的活着

我最近开始学习看道德经
也开始学习看李敖
是读,也是看
是看,也是读

会想开始道德经,主要是因为老子
念书的时候我就对于老子提出的“无为”一说很有兴趣
说白了,我那个时候是很想见识他怎么为“什么都不做”辩解

我现在也还在看着,速度不快
文言文最好玩的地方就是一个字我都可以琢磨很久很久
这对于总是脑袋空空的我来说是很好的脑力激荡

但是我开始思考,是不是真的,应该什么都不做?
天下万物相生相克相辅相成,有他们自然的规律
勉强不来,也无从勉强

冥冥中,究竟我是走着自己的路
还是走着我的命运呢?
当我把灯关上躺在床上的时候
千思万绪接踵而来
念着过往的回忆,幻着未知的将来
立在自己的当下,我一时不知该如何是好

我的亲菇们有一个习惯
她们总会不时的翻看以前的旧照片
那天亲菇宴翻了旧照片,有感而发地说,“我真的活得很快乐”
亲菇琳也总是不辞辛劳的扛着笨重的相机出现在我们生活的角落里
我亦然

我点了亲菇琳相册里我们一起到云顶的照片
自己这么看着也会噗嗤一声笑出来
我们在云顶的那几天是惬意的
在灯光绚烂的迷宫里游走
好像我们也不过是这一切的过客
不负责,不逗留,不赋予

那一次,我们一起在手背上画了一朵玫瑰
亲菇宴的是紫玫瑰,体积中等,黑色茎还有好几瓣黑色的叶子
亲菇琳的是红玫瑰,体积偏小,小小的花朵和黑色的茎成正比
我的也是朵红玫瑰,体积偏大,红色的花朵连着细长的黑色茎

没有什么特别意义,只是三个人想一起试一下就去了

我记得刚画好的时候我们三个人端详自己的手背都出了神
好像纹身这么遥不可及的事情实现了百分之二十
拍照的时候还千方百计把手背上的花装作不经意的摆出来

那个时候,真的是好开心
因为不知道未来的形状,一味的开心着

转眼间,我要开始工作了
转眼间,远在天边的亲菇宴要回来了,back  for good
转眼间,这么近那么远的亲菇琳要回家了

我跟亲菇琳说,我们三个总是不约而同的错开
总是不经意的,擦肩而过

人的生命赶不上地老天荒
但是因为有了这样的朋友,这样的亲菇
我们一起窝在那个黄色潜水艇里
形影不离的陪伴着

因为有了这么样的朋友
我总是被提醒我是快乐的














Friday 24 May 2013

独自淡泊

我独泊兮,其未兆;沌沌兮,如婴儿之未孩;傫傫兮,若无所归。
众人皆有余,而我独若遗。我愚人之心也哉!
俗人昭昭,我独昏昏。俗人察察,我独闷闷。
澹兮,其若海;飂兮,若无止。
众人皆有以,而我独顽且鄙。我独异于人,而贵食母。

- 《道德经,第二十章》

读着读着,自己感伤起来
默默的承认自己只剩下自己
走了好大一圈回来
认清了一个事实
此生这条路,只得自己走

自己跟自己过不去
然后落的是自己一身狼狈

身边不再有人
一个人走在险象环生的回忆里
一个人看着灿烂的喧哗流眼泪
烟花映到了我的脸上
故事早已落幕
我的结局是形影单只,不得申述

青春是否美好已然不再有所意义
我只能活在索然无味的现实里

断是选了一个人的路
想着能有多么奇异的冒险
等在终点的不过是一阵徐徐的风,碰巧刷过我的脸庞
枕住我为寂寞而流淌的眼泪
把我的寂寞带到更高更远的地方
生怕别人不知晓

一日我学会不再期待
怎奈何懦弱的心不再感受
别人活了一场故事
我却废了一份期待

别人家的事儿别人家烦恼着
自己家的事儿断不能烦人家

生命的过程中,我不曾被拾起
又何来被抛弃之说?

那些人走过我的身旁
丢给我回忆的铜板

而我不过是情感的乞丐
一文不值的望着人来人往
把自己麻木入肮脏的角落

蜷缩着,等待死亡

远方的路可有我
走过的路可有我

我也说不准

到了最后,我甚至比不上宇宙间的尘埃
挥一挥衣袖,不带走任何精彩

你若记得住我,我祝你日日晴天








Thursday 23 May 2013

你若安好,便是晴天

在美国的时候,好朋友偶尔问起我以后的打算
我打哈哈着说起会计这条路

她问我,怎么会想读会计?
我说其实我没想过,不过就顺水推舟的走到今天这一步

我们开始聊,如果你不是今天的你,你想做什么?

好朋友是2个孩子的妈,幸福而平实的过着带孩子的生活
但她跟我说,她有一个梦想
她想要到轮船上当厨师,跟着船只游行各个地方
到那些不一样的地方,去过梦一般的流浪

但是又何奈,两个可爱的孩子让她爱不释手
所谓梦想,她换了一个,
新的梦想,就是想陪着两个孩子数着日子,
平凡,而快乐着

说完,她递给我一块鸡肉块
打开一包酱料,我们两个吃了起来
胖子经理站在我们对面叨念着我们悠哉悠闲,一边手里忙活着他的新手机

我也说起我的梦来,
我说我想环游世界!

然后我告诉他们,曾经我想开一间店
具体买点什么我也不清楚
只是很想有一个自己孕育出来的地方
坚定不移地守着

我打开抽屉,拿了新炸好的鱼肉块
继续描绘我的天马行空

我说我想要在那样的店里头放一张世界地图
我想要告诉所有人旅行是多么美好的事
我想要我身边的人偶尔出去走一走

好朋友说,有梦想的人都很好,因为知道自己想着什么前进
她说即使因为孩子而换了一个梦想,她不曾后悔
看着孩子一天一天的成长
她跟我说,"I'm a mother, and I'm proud of what I have"







然后柜台来了人
drive thru也来了人

我们散开,话题结束


不时,我还是会想起这些不经意的瞬间

不算是有着深层意义的对话
但跟一个朋友单纯的聊着
却让我有着深深的悸动

跟一个人随意的聊着
我这么一个脾气古怪的人
却在绕了大半个地球之后意外的结交了那么多朋友
跟那么多人聊着心事,聊着梦想,聊着过去

过了很久,很久
我走入麦当劳还是有一股熟悉感
仿佛柜台后的服务员就是那些朋友们
依稀我们就这么靠在厨房漫天闲聊
度过那一个个冬天的晚上

窗外飘着雪,掉在草堆里融化了
就像那个时候的记忆,掉在我的心头上,融化了多年来的武装

那个时候的我,只是一个单纯的,探险者
探讨着未知的自己,究竟有着何种可能?







李佳恩啊,过了许久,若果我们再踏上那一片土地
你还会记得这一些不着边际的话吗?















How have you been?
i have been free and lost.

How long does one normally would take to wrap up the emotions of just-off-travel?

It feels like its gonna take me forever.



Thursday 16 May 2013

Thereafter



Overall experience :  Please bold the answers

  1. I had a good experience on this programme :                                           Yes / No / Not sure
  2. I would recommend this programme to other students :                             Yes / No / Not sure
  3. I would recommend OOTB in the future :                                                 Yes / No / Not sure
  4. I believe the programme was worth the money I had to spend :                  Yes / No / Not sure

  1. What did you work as and what were your responsibilities at your workplace?
I was a mcdonald’s crew member.
I am responsible of most of the positions found in a mcdonald store, for example, front counter, drive-through windows, food preparations, food packaging, as well as cleaning the whole store.
2.       What is the minimum or maximum hours you worked in a week?  How many days do you work?
I don’t particularly document my working hours and days, but as far as I recall, it would be as follow:
Minimum hours: 28 hours
Maximum hours: 45 hours
Days: Generally vary from 3 days to 7 days a week
3.  What do you like /dislike about your job most and why?
The part I love most about my job is that, I get to interact with many customers. Being able to engage in conversation with them is the most precious moments I have ever expected, from old people to young lil’ kid who is struggling to order their own meals, it is just amazing.
They sometimes talk about their days and it was a great opportunity for me to learn to engage in short conversation with different people of different background!
  1. What was it about the job / workplace that surprised you most?
I have a rather equal expectation for my job, so I was pretty mentally-prepared for the job scopes.
As for the workplace, I am very surprised that I actually get to meet many different types of people within the colleagues. They basically come from different background, different culture, and each have their own stories. I enjoy interacting with them, and that I think I see a very different America from each of them!
  1. What do you think were the most useful skill you learnt at your workplace?
I would say I learnt a lot, like LITERALLY a lot, but if I had to choose one, I would say communication skills. I used to have a hard time talking to people back then, I was bad at engaging people, bad at greeting people. But because my job is mainly about providing service, I had to pick up all these skills. Though I now know it wasn’t as hard as I thought.

I can now greet total strangers, I can chat with people I met randomly on street, I learn how to chit chat with my new neighbours, and I am now all set to meet new people and make friends.

This may not sound impressive, but as for myself, it is a big achievement. I used to be the kind of people where I keep everything to myself, but now I am more comfortable in interacting with others. I like my new self!
  1. Do you have a 2nd job or 2nd employer?  What did you do for the 2nd job?  How did you find the 2nd job / employer?  How many hours did you work at the 2nd job?

N/A
  1. How much was your accumulated earnings (for all jobs)?  Please state if they are before / after tax deduction, before / after food deduction, before / after housing deduction?
I don’t document closely on my salary, but the figure I can provide is that, after tax deduction and after housing deduction, I personally think I made at least $2500.

(This is an estimated figure. I started the one month travelling with a bank balance of $2200, so from there I roughly put together my spending thus arriving at $2500)
  1. How much did you bring home?   How much pocket money did you bring to the USA?
I brought none home.

I brought $1000 to USA, it lasted for over 2 months without including the housing. (because the housing is to be deducted from my pay cheque)


9.       Describe your housing arrangement (apartment, dorm and # of people to a room).  Were you satisfied with the housing arrangement?  If not, why?
No I am not satisfied with the housing arrangement.
The reason is that, we lived in a basement rather than a town house as per promised. And there is 8 of us (4 boys 4 girls) in that basement with zero rooms. Its is a common space where our bunk beds are separated by a mere curtain.

We were promised to have a town house and a room for 4-6people as housing, but we end up cramped in a basement, living zero privacy.

To make things even worst, there is no proper security planning for the housing. There is no door for the basement and not to even mention locking it. There is hardly sunlight in the basement, making the basement dim most of the time, and it just makes everyone feel tired.

Seriously, the housing condition is a very big disappointment.
  1. How do you travel to work?  Is there cooking facility at your housing?
I walk to work, as much as I was promised to be provided transport, I have been walking to work like 99% of the time. The 1% are the times where the colleagues who have cars are kind enough to give me a ride. And I found out that the route we walk to work, there is a part where we crossed the highway and it is illegal. We could be arrested for that.

Yes there is a cooking facility in our basement.
  1. What did you do during time off or days off?   Do you have the chance to travel during your work period?  Where did you go?
Our days off are normally used to standby for call in. But yes, we managed to make arrangement with the managers to go on some day trip! I have been to Philadelphia, Washington DC, Harrisburg and even Niagara Falls! Niagara falls in snow is still stunning like ever!
  1. How long did you travel for (after work period)?  Where did you go on your travel and how long did you spend at each location?  A simple itinerary may help future students?
I travelled for almost a month. I went New York(5), Orlando(6), Las Vegas(6), San Francisco(6) and Hawaii(5).
My personal favourite spot would be New York, Orlando and Hawaii!
New York, well, its like the city of the world, so I don’t have to say much on that.
As for Orlando, it is like a theme park town! There are a lot of mega awesome theme parks in Orlando! I met the spring break rush during my stay in Orlando, and wow, is that not my best experience of “holiday like a rockstar” or what!
Hawaii, the beach of the world! Yes bikinis, yes vacation people, yes hot girls/guys in minimal outfit, WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU NEED FOR A SPLENDID VACATION? Just go already!
  1. How did you decide on where to go or how did you plan your holiday?
I always had in mind that I wanted to go Orlando and New York.
SO then I was offered the opportunity to joined another 2 girls on the trip, the only thing I asked was that “will you guys be going to new York and orlando”
They said YES and then off I go!
  1. How much did you spend on your holiday (excluding shopping)?
For the expenses including hotels, ground transports, air transports, I am looking at about $2,500
  1. Do you have any tips for other students on planning their holiday, eg.  must-see special places, cost saving tips, specific airline, travel agent, accommodation, travel websites, blogs to recommend, places to avoid?
Rule #1. If you happen to find out that you are ripped off, well ride the waves and forget about it.what’s done is done and let it be. No matter how smart you are, there will always some slip-away chances to be ripped off. Well, that is the destiny of tourist, try your best to stay smart but if it does happen then let it be. Just make sure you stay safe and happy. NEVER LET ANYTHING RUIN YOUR TRIP.

I love tripadvisor.com, as they have basically everything on the site.
I would say Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, New York(just walk on the street and you will get what I mean), and Magic Kingdom of Disneyland.
16.   Are there any non-tourist spots you would recommend?
Random Bars
17.   Did you feel safe travelling?  If not why?  Did you have to take safety precautions while travelling?
Yes, I felt safe during my travels. The people are generally helpful, much helpful than I have ever know.

18.   What were your expectations of the programme and were they met?
My expectations are rather low, I only expect myself to go explore, and yes of course it is met.
It even outdo my expectations so much more! Not only I get to explore different cultures, I have made friends, I am now more relatable to those Hollywood movies(yes I think this is a very good bonus part), I learn the “friendly” personality of Americans, and I can now point on the world’s map and talk about another piece of land!
19.   What did you like and not like about the American culture? 
I love their friendliness! In the place where I worked, there are some regular customers that grew to be a friend of mine! Some of them even bring me and other colleagues cookies and snacks during specific shifts! They would also ask about my asian culture and it is just great talking to this huge variety of people! Also, I love how helpful they are!I had an experience where an old man who wanted just a small cup of coffee actually paid the meals of a mother of 4 when the lady forgot her purse. She was all clumsy with her 4 kids, and was apologizing because she forgotten her purse, when the old man walked up to her and just said he will take care of it. There was also one time I was with a friend, carrying all the groceries we bought, walking on the shoulder of a road at night. A very kind old lady stopped her car and gave us a ride! That was actually during Chinese new year time, such warm act really means a lot to us! (Faith in humanity, RESTORED!)

I hate the tipping culture. I am not the kind of person who give tips, which is why I always have to remind myself to tip the waiter or whoever that serves me. That definitely bothers me because I am just a poor tourist who is trying to mind my own business. (LOL!)
20.   Did you have problem adapting to life in the US?  How did you overcome it?
In adapting their lifestyle, there is only one problem I have faced: I HATE FRENCH FRIES!
And how did I overcome it? No I didn’t overcome it, I still hate French fries.
21.   What are the 3 most valuable things you learnt on this trip?
1. To be or not to be happy, it depends on you yourself. In whatever situation, you can still be happy as long as you want to!
2. Never rely on others in making your own decision. Always make your own thinking, your own consideration and eventually your own conclusion
3. There are bad people who will try their best to make your life miserable, but look around, there will also be good people that will help you make it through.
22.   What are the 3 most memorable experiences you had on this trip?
1. To join the protest we had to fight for our rights against our employer
2. To learn Spanish from my fellow housemates
3. To see a total different America from each of the Americans I have met!
23.   Do you think this experience has helped you for the future?
OF COURSE! I now know myself better, has a clearer mind, and is liking myself better than I ever had! There are too many good things from this experience, I am truly glad that I joined!
24.   Would you recommend this programme to friends or relatives?  Why?
Yes! It is a great opportunity to explore another part of the world, the background of most blockbuster movies!! also, I would say it is a great chance to have a good look at yourself, as in, “What would you become if you are no longer in the safe zone?”
25.   Would you recommend the employer?  Why?
NO. He is very selfish.
26.   Would you recommend Out of the Box?  Why?
Yes I would. OOTB had helped me a lot throughout the experience, from application until I am already home. OOTB has been keeping up with me especially when I had trouble with my social security. It felt much better knowing you are not stranded on a stranger land with a problem all by myself.
27.   Would you agree to allow OOTB to use your photos and feedback in our marketing material?  Would you be interested in being our ambassador and help provide information to future student?
Yes, though my photos are not uploaded yet, but I did made some slideshow videos of my trips and they are on youtube. Let me know if you do need the link or the video. I am more than willing to help future students, for I have received so much help back then as well!

I am interested to help provide information, but then since I will be working soon, so I might not be so sure on that. But keep me posted, I will try to make it if I am needed.

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