i might smile and say, fine..Ok ok lo..What bout yours?
BUT, I will than spend a night time, sitting on my bed, looking out to the sky, try to reach for the stars or MOSQUITOES? I asked myself evey night, “where am I going tomorrow?”
Sometimes, I’m too tired to even think,so I left it to my dreams. But there are also plenty of times that I took it seriously till I emotionally broke down. Well, never mind, I’ve used to it.
I’m kinda stressful in this college here, I think? I bailed it outta my list of favour ever since I know I’m bout to spend my life relying on it. In cases, I’ve been very contradict. I never suggest or praise this college of mine as a good choice of further education; BTW, I do meet good people here too. They rule! They Rocksss! They are SPLENDID! However, LIFE IS DAMN FUCKIN FAIR. Awesome Housemates cost me Disaster-level Classmates.
The situation I’m in today, is of no-one’s blame. I got myself into it. I locked myself, bailed the whole world out and labeled myself “INDEPENDENT”……….Thus, I pretended to be STRONG enough for everything. Samseng, Idiot, Rubbish, Chicken….all sort of. I thought this could earn me an early view of the adults’ complicated relationship.
Well, like we always know, things seldom turns out the way we wanted, and most of the times, they just grew from a problem into trouble and then tragedy and finally DISASTER. If you were to tell me, this is what life is about, sorting out the problems........ I don’t know, if that’s ok for you,thn FINE! But I just can’t deal with this so-call fact.
I always yearned for the dramatically RICH life. You can say I’m a money face $_$ , I will not give a shit about it. The point is that, I don’t have the clue of becoming one…My parents told me since I was small, or maybe hypnotize me ( I think this is what education is mainly about). They said that simply by studying hard, aiming
high and success would be yours. Like every single kids, I trusted it and took “TEACHER” as the most HOLY and the one and only “dream job”… and also LIKE every other kids, I discovered modeling, singers, acting, and so soooooo much more others that made me realize that being a teacher just don’t fit my expectation in the future. Then I changed.
TeacherDoctorActorSingerArtistAuthorEngineerLawyerAthletess…..the list is long enough to be the carpet as for the pathway from EARTH to MOON. I LOVE KIDDY DREAMS, its so unreal and thus no burden at all.
Every time I got frustrated by my homework, tests, exams, I can only whisper to myself, saying that this is my choice, either ruin it or be it. Of course, I chose the latter.
There is something that I wanna admit right here…May GOD spares me.
“ I’ve been looking down on my college. It had been the last college I’d want to be (as I only get to go to one college throughout my life…) BUT then, HERE I AM. Calling myself a TARCianss…reluctantly."
Hmm….as a conclusion, I lead a pathetic life and seem to be endless….
NOT SO SOON. Before I die, I’ll never jump to the conclusion. My final breathe should make a WONDERFUL full stop.
I’m sorting things out these days..(what a general way)
I tried to make myself better off. Erm, to be precise, I am TRYING.
Do pray and hope that a better me will be born and this “still imperfect” me will fade away like every memory, and as time pass by, The world moved on, as if I never had exist.
Have your prayers said. And Believe that it will be answered. Whatever circumstances you are in, keep positive thinking, and better, develop some belief to cheat yourself. As TRUTH always HURT badly, there’s no harm protecting ourselves through fraud.
********************************************
That's all this time...Thanks to gossip girls for their english lessons.
I'm to leave. leave to no where. leave to other websites.
SMILE always, WAVE hard, SHOUT loud.
********************************************