I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive

I am finally BACK home...

well, its not really "finally" after all, i've only been left for less than 48 hours...

This week in college, the topic of choice-for-further-study is so on.

Janice Toh had a small talk for us after the tamadun lecture...

about the dif between AFA, AAC, and AMA...which i already know..

It feels suck when everybody was talking bout "growing up" type of things..

I love being a non-grown-up. I'm cool with this status.

Growing up means picking up responsibilities, means doing something the world told you,

means no more ridiculous lifestyle.

this time next year, I'll be having my internship.

I.N.T.E.R.N.S.H.I.P. you know?!!!!

It means

Wearing FORMAL

Speaking FORMAL

Doing FORMAL

Walking FORMAL

Working FORMAL

Living FORMAL

I'm ok with the internship, but i'm really seeking a way to overcome my interview phobia...

I can talk shit lots up here but if its an interview, i even have to REMIND myself to keep breathing before i lost conscious..

This is so not ok, come on, someone tell me the cure! I'd do anything!!

"Adult going to be?"

I spent my whole childhood expecting growing up.

I've got only a few years left now to actually prodigal my youth times.

Why every children wanna grow up?

I used to wish so much badly that i'd grow up in a blink of eye or something of the same means- FAST, RAPID!

because I thought being a grown up, i can go, do, eat whatever,however,whenever,i want.

But now that i realized, its not totally true.

Being a grown up, you were tied up COMPLETELY by responsibilities.

You have to be like this, You shouldn't act like that,

all these IMPLIED rules in life is always there behind those grown ups,

Limiting their actions, Manipulating their lives.

Looking at my mum, would i be like her in maybe after a few decades?

Life is bringing me on a sail to I-dunno-where.

All I have to and can do is to bring out the best of myself.

No more regrets like this.

No more regrets of "I should have..."

Whatever!

I just wanna keep on laughing and enjoying.

there's a promise we kept.

we promised to never forget each other.

hmm.