The story goes this way:

My photo
We are all so alike yet we are totally different.
人生苦短何必念念不忘

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

sleep and forget the world

There's a career talk in school the other day.
one hour. few people.
speakers are frm Ernstnyoungs
i went, for i'm using every reason i can to avoid starting my revisions
audience were very few. The speakers are of course professional-loooking.
and urm, yeah, i don't know. that's all i can tell.

but i'm not going to write like "dear diary, i attended a talk today ...." and finish with EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE mentioned in the talk.
if you're expecting a meeting minutes, then you're looking at the wrong site. this is blogspot. NOT GOOGLE SEARCH ENGINE. so walk yourself outta here.

As i was telling my friends,
"career talk? OH! we have to go! some people whom you both don't know each other is going to tell you bout your career!"

yeah sure. tell me bout my career. TELL ME! TELL ME! pretty pretty please, just tell me.
I have totally ZERO idea what I wanna be in future.....
if only i could stop answering questions like, WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN TEN YEARS TIME?!
wth. i cant even see myself passing the test tomorrow. shouldnt i be down to earth a lil bit more

The whole talk is not boring. considering they are representing this one firm where everyone cracks their head to get a footstep into
the main speaker today said he is MACPA n CPA aus holder. another guy is an acca holder.
screw me. NOW WHO IS THE HECK TELLING LIFE IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN CERT?
stop telling get a life, GO GET A CERT.
they do tell bout those pay. even at the very FRESH ENTRY level, its very clearly cut that how many cert you have on hand, that should be DIRECTLY PROPORTIONATE to the figure debited into your bank account.

its not like i don't know bout this, i mean, jack neo has been raising this problem.
but i'm getting closer to the mean world. VERY CLOSE. but i just realized today that, I AM NOT AS READY AS I THOUGHT.
there's a voice in mind that keeps on mumbling "please study please study please study" and that's the so called the angel side in me.
and the evil side? "OHGOD!SO THIS IS IT?LEEKAHINN, LOOK FOR YOURSELF, SO WHAT YOUR SO-CALLED LIFE IS GONNA BE LIKE THIS? FORMALLY FORMAL?"

damnit.

i'm, confused? i don't know. I'm defo sure that I should keep up with my study as usual.
but sometimes in the middle of the night, you feel that clock ticks inside you.
its like "tick tock, one second closer to adult, tick tock, one second further from YOUTH"
sucks to the max man. horrible in fact.
people always ask, so what's your plan for future. considering you're no longer that kid who sees no end in studies.
If you smile and say "erm, dunno." and yea, people just get it, it simply means you're failing your subjects.

actually i do know. but not really precise.
i will get acca and work the shit out of me. then i will have a lot of money and a lot of time regretting those moments i've wasted away.
then some day, i die.

one long sentence, MY LIFE.

pathetic.
zoe once said that, its always choice.
you know, if you start off working earlier, you suffer maybe a lil here and there but sooner or later
when you become a permanent staffs, things turn around and smile at you.

but if you further study, you study all those craps and enrol into the industry. where somebody of your age could have been your boss with he or she started working earlier ahead of you. but of course la, you will have your own advantage as well.
i mean those craps you've studied are not totally rubbish after all. its like a pedestal to hold you up.

i recalled i've been aiming to be a lecturer and never go out into commercial world.
chicken-out to put it in one word. ya. me, chicken-out. SHIT.
but everybody knows, you wont feel nuff. never.
you will always keep the wonder of whether you would strike out a beautiful sparkle if you've only had that ONE TRY.

we're afraid to fall.falling part is like the one fear you'd rather stay don't know.
its hard to pick up piece by piece if your life shattered around.cause every pieces you've picked up, its gonna cost a deep pain in you.
DEEP. very.

i'm still not done with this. but i don't what to write anymore.
cause i'm also confused in me. lost. unknown. handicapped.
i think everyone feels like that when it comes to "future dreams"
anyhow, i'd find chances to drag this to an end.
i mean, TRY. i wished this wont bother me long.
i hate thinking. my brain is customized for imagination purpose.
It just dont work logically.
whatever. i could really use a wish right now.
airplane? nah. i'm in 21st century where plane only reminds me of obama, 911, terrorist....
meteor? nah. i watched armageddon and yeah, not much bruce willis to be die for honestly.
but liv tylor is defo a good art work of god. like anne hathaway, like miranda kerr, like katy pery, like...

fine, i don't know what i'm ending with.

******************************

one more thing.
sometimes its just fishy when i was told that i wrote too long.
feeling funny. everyone who read this quietly fantastic end up seeing me like,
"yo leekahinn, for your sake, i think i'm having short sighted problem. seeing computer too long."
"hey you, do you even know the word - episode?"
"wei! WALAU!"
"tzk tzk tzk"

I remembered there's a friend who told me these:
"ei leekahinn, you know what, your blog is BLOODI HELL LONG. i feel like 10 years older when i finish it. but i guess thats what i want. craps. i mean, if i wanted something formal, i'd have gone for newspapers. professional writers. and so when i come in here blog-reading, i'm expecting these kind of holy craps. and the only thing that matter is that whether i'm interested in the rubbish you're saying"


tumblr_lco862of3w1qaay1oo1_500.jpg (500×333)

*sometimes i feel like i'm having inspiring friends. they tell words and sometimes, for some unidentifiable reasons, their words got trapped in me and sonner or later,
i'd come up with something feeling deeply inspired and profoundly refreshed.

=)

like pink said, "you're fuckin perfect for me"

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