i got this one call
and im all ready for my depressions
its good knowing people care and believe in you
though it feel sucks when knowing everyone is too apart for a hug
im very sad or emo or angry or frustrated or whatever
because i crushed my car on the side and the bumper has a hole on it right now
in other words, my budget for a berry is crushed together with the bumper
my money for berry is now moving to the bumper
well fine.
god has it destined and i shall follow
just a phone. just a car. just some cash.
maybe i just dont deserve what i wanted
so fine.
i've been good for 21 years without it, i dont mind more
i wasn't taking this so easily at first
my hunger was crushed with the bumper too.
as my bumper dies, it pull along a lot of my other.
i got back into my room, called my mum and informed her.
couldn't stop crying after that, it sucks.
feels like im some loser who only creates trouble and expenses
i just sat there staring into my notes and start depressing
everything in me goes into blue then stuck in grey
the raining sky, the messy table, the plenty notes
i sat there and try to let off the so called negatives in me
meanwhile trying to squeeze in lecture notes to my brain
i did manage to study one or two of it
though everytime i flip a page i couldnt help asking WHY
why now. why me. WHY
i planned so hard for savings and this is what i end up with.
irrelevant expenses
its like im purposely screw up, destined to fall from the high blue sky
then i got that one call.
to tell me that its ok, just cry for a bit and move on
to tell me things will work out eventually
to tell me she will bring me for some prayers for my recent bad lucks
to tell me i'm not as terrible as i was told
to ....talk me through
to listen to my cries
to listen to my sorrowfulness quietly
to listen to my complaints
to ....listen to my silent hysteria
someone to put my focus back on track
someone who says, 至少明天的不要搞砸
then i see this turnaround sign on my foreveremo path
at least i know what to focus on
though it still hurts somehow
im gonna go all thorough for the emo-ness
and start all over again
like my laptop when its spoiled, im professional in this reboot thing
OH!
did i mention who call?
well who else?
i love you chingu. =))
saranghae chingu.
merci meilleur ami.
xie xie ni hao peng you.
terima kasih pacal.
