I am feeling a lot of imbalance.
Can't juggle between jealousy or pure jealousy.
SO, I was thinking I can blog about something happy,
to help get over this huge negativity.
(or should I just do awkward-dance to shake-it-off)
The only happy thing about me recently is that Sam got married.
I mean I always thought she has been in a stable relationship, but still, it felt warmingly to see them become husband and wife.
Sometimes, I do think I am pretty lucky in many sense.
Having met kind people around my life and thus soften my edges a tiny bit.
I met Sam at the doorstep of my first job, and she stayed friend.
We grew close somewhere around sometimes that I have forgotten.
But in my memory, she has always been this kind person with generous spirit.
(yup, she offered me food before. and whoever that has gave me food, will always remain in my prayers.)
We didn't stay long in the dinner for their ROM.
It was packed and everyone is trying to get a hold of the bride and groom.
I think everyone is genuinely happy.
If only I could have such happiness to stick around for a longer while
I can't help my pessimistic.
But I really wanna be happy for sam.
I declared yesterday a happy day.
And soon enough, reality bitch slap me and lure me into work.
Sam, I am very, utterly, utmost-ever-ly happy for you.
I always will be.
Its just, I have too much hate and sadness.
I am not as cool as I thought.
I am just another piece of crap.
Crap bag.
