eventually, finally.

dated: 16th march 2012

House internet are spoilt for 2weeks plus I guess

Nothing big happened in between

Erm, perhaps just I’ve finally ditch hostel and moved everything home

Gonna travel back and fro from now on for a year

I just watched Pocahontas on TV2. It’s been so long since I last tuned into this channel,

But for Pocahontas, it’s a must!

Disney cartoons were really good back then

Though Nickelodeon wasn’t bad either, like powerpuff girls, spongebob and stuffs

but nothing beats Disney movie! NOTHING.

Back at those days, I watched LionKing in tape and Mulan in VCD.

I don’t think much of the kids nowadays recognize the meaning of tape and vcd anymore, but the major lost I think they are having, is not knowing the wonderful of songs. Those really beautiful songs which are the first “lesson of life” we had.

I still remember watching Beauty & The Beast 3D at the beginning of this semester. Simply satisfying. Actually, even its not in 3D and is just merely a 2D movie, I’d still go. Because, those movies marked my childhood stages by stages.

I didn’t really understand the meaning behind “Reflection” in Mulan back then. But I sure understand her courage to protect her father and her country. And I surely understand the determination to accomplish all of the challenges and the spirit of not taking losing as an answer. And of course, the feeling as in she is stranded on the land of minority that she fail to just follow a normal path like everyone else, she has to fail in everything which normal would expect.

And Lion King, I can watch lion king over and over again like mulan. And like mulan, I didn’t understand the meaning behind those songs. I only know scar is a bad guy, Mufasa is dead because of evil scar and Simba is a brave lion. I didn’t understand the power of hakuna matata, and I didn’t understand the “can you feel the love tonight” part by nana and Simba. DUH. I was a kid with pure soul, its just as normal that I couldn’t understand much of the take-it-easy and love part in life at that age. I do now, OK?

Disney movies really made a huge part of my memories. From not understanding what’s the meaning but merely building up my own understanding over it, until now I had to cry every single time at the “reflection” part of mulan.

When I first heard, I only love the song because its nice. Until I’m old enough and it accidentally popped into my life through radio or youtube, I realize I could sing-along just as well, while at the same time, I’m shocked for all those meaning behind. If I could have understood all those at the age of 4 or 5, I could have been a much better person. A person with less hates and more loves.

But I hope it wasn’t too late for me. I guess it wasn’t, after all, it’s never too late for correction. Better than nothing at least?

Have I ever mentioned my bestest cousin has graduated officially? As in attended graduation ceremony which means no more expectable reason to return to university. Ya, she did. And she said she actually misses her university and all those friends. I guess this is what everyone has to go through in life huh? Saying the hardest goodbye over and over again, and thought you’ve been stronger, but actually, it still hurt a little bit behind every goodbye.

Yesterday, we, the food-mates in school, as usual would have been, went for lunch together, with our lecturer. We sat together, and just randomly complaint bout the weather, the syllabus, the families, the petrol and the food. Out of nowhere, something jumped into my thoughts and said that, “this wont last long, very soon, you guys would say goodbye.”

True. Very soon.

I said I wanna work in Singapore, and most of them wanted to stay in Penang. And even staying in Penang, it doesn’t mean much of not too far away. You see, my school doesn’t have long semester break, the longest could be 3-4weeks only. And this only happened just once, FOR 4 YEARS IN A ROW. Other times, we only had I think 2 or even 1 weeks of so-called semester break.

The longest time we never seen each other are the time of internship. Where its about 3 months, and we’ve got so missing each other already. Its feels like a century when I finally back to class again after the internship. Everyone feels like haven’t-been-met for centuries!

I still recall we keep chit chatting about how’s life and all during the first day. Everyone is exchanging internship stories. What if we weren’t together for more than a year? We are now classmates, sitting next to each other, just like how things were for 613. We used to swear we’d meet every 13^th June. But it only lasted for one year. The second year, there’s only few of us. At some point, people just leave without a trace. Now, those friends I had as a gang called 613, many of them are having a parallel life to mine—moving forward but will never meet. That’s just sad. I love them, I still enjoy those moments where we used to do wild things in class. Until time pushed us all forward, and we’re all lost into the sea of people. They’ve got new friends now, some still keep in contact, some are still bestest best friends, but some, they just decided to forget us and let it all fade into the wind.

As the wind blow, the memories just go further and further away, I hope they’d settle down eventually, as those are already faded memories, I don’t want them to split anymore. Just, settle down in a place time will never get you.

And now, I’m also in a class, with some friends that we’ve been so used to for 4 years. Eventually we will say goodbye, eventually we will not be so used to each others’ existence. Life always drifts people apart, because it constantly leads to new stories where new characters will be further involved. But we must never forget where we are from, where we started everything. I always fall back to the past and have a swim in the ocean of memories. That reminds me of who I am and what I wanted to be initially.

“Don’t lost your true self” they say.

“Remember” Mufasa says.

Yes. Because life is always packed of different elements, it keeps us all busy attending our current life challenges. But as you’re busy, you tend to forget what and where you wanted. Those things you desired the most when you were a pure soul should be preserved.

I wanted to be happy, to be able to sing and dance with all my friends as per in those cartoons.

Because this is the reason you started working, this is the reason why you dive into the world of fights, THIS, is why you stay strong.

Its only happy, for me. Not rich, not pretty, not hot and sexy body, not intelligent, not successful. I only wanted to be happy.

That should be easy, just keep smiling and laughing.

Thanks, dear cartoon movies. For you’ve thought me the lesson of life beautifully.

That doesn’t kills me, only makes me stronger.

I will fight like Mulan, and to be faithful like Pocahontas.

Bring it on. Lyfe!