well, i might just may.
its not easy to just stand there seeing others doing what you used to want badly
No, Im not over it.
if only i hold on to that, i would shopping for my oversea necessities now
Letting go look all so chic or so, but it does hurt
ripping something of you which have rooted in the bottom of your heart
some mornings where i have time looking into the mirror
i heard this illusive background music of "reflection" from Mulan
its not about what i decided not to,
its not about what i've lost through the way
its just, im always good at faking a fantasy for myself to conceal in
so good that i don't know what's real anymore
and that day after watching "inception",
i couldnt stop relating the movie to me
i start paying attention to spinning objects,
i start thinking how i reach a particular place every single time
i start, wondering, how true is this world.
is this world real by itself,
or im just in a coma and is currently wandering around a fantasy i myself designed
whatever i have faith in, why did i have faith in?
did i believe in things because i want myself to?
im struggling hard of being TRUE to myself
to eventually admit, its too hard
i wished i can just grab my passport and leave for good
i want to stop playing by the rules
i want to stop following the track
i want to start, seeking.
all i did these few days was literally staying beside the national geographic and history channel
i enjoy them, to think those places they are showing, i may not be able to step on it
in fact, watching those shows and combining them with my imagination
it just feels like the cheapest way of travelling.
many says the beauty of travel is to be away from your original track of life
and they continue saying if you, by the first place, have no original track of life,
you need no travelling, for you never truly belong,
EVERYWHERE is a travelling to you.
"Promise me you'd be as generous to yourself as I would have if I were to be there with you"
--The lady
miserableness wouldn't leave, not like i hate you or something,
but you gotta know you're not my favourite guest.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.would you just leave or i should get my riffle gun?
