yet all you are doing is huddling in a corner
hoping for a pass on whatever you are dealing with
.....
well at least you learnt the pain of giving up
it will always hurt in the inside
it feels like everyone has moved on
but not me
all i did was keep failing myself
i think this is a point of my life, where i learn the weight on choice
where i learn the pain of opportunity cost
there is always something you have to give up on
its like a path, or a lesson that everyone will have
........................
it could be a mistake if i chose to go on with the dream
it could also be a mistake that i chose to let it go
but i gotta make one of these mistake to find out which is more worthwhile
i chose and did let go my dream
till now, i feel the pain.
but who knows, if i chose to go on,
it may hurt as well.
the waves beat on the shore
it kept on beating, and beating, and beating, and beating......
i sat there and watched one whole afternoon
until the waves got tired and left
leaving behind the shore
that has been silent all these years
my life isn't a busy one
in fact, its quite a good one
if only i could be less emotion as what i am right now
i drove a lot these days,
to school, back home, meeting friends, wandering, running errands
driving is quite a good associating action for thinking
there's always a lot running in my mind when I'm driving
those scene passing will trigger the playback of memories
previously, driving became a very tough experience for me
because I kept sending people away from me
i have always been the one waving hard shouting goodbye
not an easy job
its like im chained to Penang or something
im cursed or so that i just couldn't leave
well don't get me wrong
I love Penang
just, the feeling that you are the watch-person of those memories with your friends sucks
like everyone is somewhere else,
and you have to bear with the pain that you are all alone in the city
pretending you don't feel the emptiness
pretending it doesn't hurt to walk alone through those places you used to hang out with your friends
dear future me,
i am happy. its just im getting this whole "i-gave-up-my-18's-dream" thing.
yes i am happy. friends are here, exams are over.
everything is good.
its just, i need to grumble here and there
i am good, very good.
in fact i just had our favourite lok lok with our favourite friends
everything is good back here, no worries.
yes i gave up our 18-year-old dream,
but its not like the 18-year-old us will come and kill me or something
she will have to deal with the fact that she no longer has the call
so, i am good, i am happy.
life has been pretty awesome,
and everything will only get better and better.
if you have not already, please stay positive thinking
and learn to laugh for the sake of being able to breath
every second, people die because they fail to keep on breathing
they are losing their lives, for something you have without extra effort required
you have every reason to be happy
oh and please, spread positive strength to people around you
everyone is fighting a hard battle
every life aint no easy
