The search is over, you were with me all the while

才知道偶尔停下来其实也很美好

好像去了很遥远的地方
突然回来了
却觉得把什么东西遗留在过去的某一段时光
硬是记不起，却真真实实的记得那里的每一段时光

好像在乱流中被推上岸
却很快的又被卷入原本的漩涡中
满足的继续奋斗着

实在不舍得睡
闭上眼睛，几个梦境
美好的今天也会像过去的每一天
慢慢地褪去原本的色彩
变回日历上其中一个格

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我知道今天其实就像每个昨天一样
只是，我会特别珍惜这两天

我会记得我的朋友无助的时候会打给我
我会记得我的朋友们都不会让彼此落单，即使再无助都至少有人在，有肩膀靠。
我会记得在这两天所遇到的那些好人们。
我会记得我们在遇上那些好人们，我在心里的震撼。
我会记得我们匆匆赶到时，我朋友那张无助的脸。（与其说我内疚，不如说，我庆幸我在这个时候找到她）
我会记得我们被拖车时呐喊的无乐不做。

我实在不舍得睡去。但现在已经是12.19am。
那个美丽的历险记，已经跨步成为我们的过去。
昨天太近，明天太远。
我一定会去睡觉。现在心里的感情，需要沉淀。

常常，我们都只是到附近的商场随便逛逛吃吃就了了一次见面。
而这次，这绝无仅有的一次，
我们好像在庸庸碌碌的生活中，被瞬间转移到另一个空间。
莫名其妙地过了始料未及的一天。

我们捧在手心的友情又往上升了一点点。


谢谢你们，当我的朋友。
谢谢你们，当我是朋友。

***************************************

to many: 好像在庸庸碌碌的生活中，被逼着休息了一天

谢谢你啦！

****************************************

世界末日 就尽管来吧
我会继续 无乐不作
不会浪费 爱你的快乐
当梦的天行者 要快乐
--节录，无乐不作，范逸臣

都去睡觉吧！
回忆只有在梦境里可以被重演。
一起脱下常日的假面
一起奔向梦幻的疆界

享受这感觉，品尝这滋味
偶尔，我庆幸于我对纷乱世界的不了解

18.8.2009 the tuesday with angels surrounding.

I'm in this special place. and i'm so going to record this special moment.

I mean, blogging with other's computer? this is the first time for this blog.

So, we're now ending this tiring unlucky day with Gossip Girls....middle part of the season 2.(if i'm not mistaken)

well...why is it tiring? SIMPLY because we were given hopes quite a number of times.

Might be that those so called hopes are really something which was constantly ignored by us.

here's the situation,

Her car broke down in the middle of the ......"JOURNEY"?

so she called me, i called another her...and we tried so soooooooo hard to sort things out..

at first, i got total blank and i stunned for seconds before my mind back to function.

I search through the phone and i couldn't get a thought-to-be reliable number.

I searched again and again, i was gonna freak out as i do think the issue is gonna be a time consuming one. Then i called a guy which turns out, NO POINT at all...

She is crying on the other end and i was like...sitting there?

here comes the generous SuTing who drove me and another her to the rescue.

She is total helpless and so do us. We intended to pour in water to some holes under the bonnet, as we were bout to do so, the first angel stopped by. An angel comes in any form and the one we've got, appears to be an UNCLE which is on his way home..i think.

This angel no.1 told us to wait for the .....whatever to cool down before we pour in water or else the poor car will be repair and the wallet of the owner will be raped.

Ha! then we were like so grateful . Woo...there are stil nice people around.

Than we started some light chats and the "cam whoring session" (this word appeared rapidly in many other blogs, so, i am actually TRYING it here)

*I love my Jelly Lens so soooooo much*

hereby ends my post now. Pictures are yet to be uploaded, Stories are yet to be told.

Have a cup of milk, go to sleep, dream sweet.

Stories continue next time.

I'm tired and i do think a lot....

BUT i can tell you,

the stories went on well enough. We met lotsa angel and a prince of frog.

Well, Life is bout a box of chocolate. We never know what we got.

I met the most angels today. I see lights around me, and i now know the friendship bonding is upgraded, and we will go further and further together as BEST FRIENDS.

oh...i'm going to sleep....

before that, lets pray for our all those unlucky(s) in Taiwan.

May Angels surround them throughout the disaster.

along with plenty of LOVE

when you actually go to the very below,
observe them, see them, hear them,
you'll found yourself rather useless.
I shed tears for this. BUT
Esther and Sam and Jane is 3 out of....
maybe a million?a billion? a trillion even.

Now turn back, and look at those torturing notes and assignments,
i think they are now a way of the GOD blessing me.
I'm blissful enough.
Now, I should help others out.
They are too helpless that they can't stand up and even fight for a chance,
these are the people that needed protection, helps, care, LOVE..
They need it but they never know they need it.
SIMPLY because they don't even know what is LOVE.
I'll now smile for them, pray for them,
as GOD keep giving me chances to upgrade myself,
ONE DAY, i shall make use of all those gifts from Heaven,
carve a BiG Smile on those needies face.
Well, thats all i can do.
i hope they live on happily like i do.
thats the smile that will triggers happiness to us.
We've got everything without having to work hard like them.
Even i fall, it means i get the chance to walk.
Even i cry, it means i get the chance to care for others.
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......
...
..
.
Love.
and Believe in your LOVE.
and Love others with all your might.
Spare the stupid, idiot, brainless, barbarians,morons.
Just Keep on loving while you still can.
As Love is the best help of all.
L.O.V.E

ohya..food is important too.
so, try this -- www.freerice.com

Live like i'm dying, which i already AM

I wished someone is there to stop me from going to the MAF lecture tomorrow.

I hate the fact that i can do nothing but go and MOVE ON.

HELL! The mosquitoes just wouldn't stop.
I've got the nets on my window so where the hell did they come from??? ARGH

Among the so called oldies from one of my fren,
I found baby cry, water, glass breaking,
NOW tell me, what the fuckin do these stuffs got to do with "OLDIES"

folks, i'm not crapping, i'm trying to blog here and DAMN
if i continue sitting here, the only consequence is that i will scratch out my skin....

a post to the stupid mosquitoes and the mouse on my ceiling.
IF YOU EVER FELL OFF INTO MY ROOM,
i curse your death to be the most unpleasant one!
nah,take my button!!!

bathroom, i'm coming to you, please don't turn your door on me....

and blanket, you'll be up next after bathroom.

NOW laptop, say goodnight to me and kiss goodbye with my fingers.

I am so going to off....oops! no! not yet....

i'm receiving some important files here...so,laptop,jz a kiss goodbye will do.

*I ended all my assignments, my tests, my presentation, and
do i still need a reason to act like a fool or what??
YEAP! i certainly do, final exams are in 2 weeks time.
Its more than just a simple "around the corner"
Sadly, preps are yet to be started for mood is yet to be generated.

i want BEER! Alcoholic is a students BEST FRIENDS
especially in the season of exams.
In this season, 'H' is simply the best alphabet of all.

Heineken
Hell
Holyshit
Haleiluya
Hahahahaha
However--I did read alot, HOWEVER
Hence--the lecturer is too sleepy-making, HENCE i sleep a lot....
Hey--'Hey dude, any tips?'
Habit--'too bad sir, cheating is my habit for years, you knw jiang shan yi gai ben xing nan yi?'
Hohoho--can SANTA do maths?
Haizzzz--the first reaction of every just-end-test students
Half--"please la, at least half mark leh" whispers deep in every student's heart
Hall--where is the exam HALL huh?
Hours--ei, exam how many hours huh?
Hopefully--HOPEFULLY what i don't study it wont come out(bt this applies with the fact, you've study NOTHING, so you're hoping the exam papers to be total empty?)

OMG...I'm going to have my final exams?
Damn freakin! Which should i start first?
Oh no! I've got Law and TAX in the same day right after MIS?
SO the college is actually implying that we can make our choice over this 3 subject on which 1 are we letting of? if thats the case, my answer would be

"ALL"

Ms. Melinda, Ms. Ooi, Ms. Lalitha,
if i fail any or all of your subjects,
forgive me. I will go back to my papa mama and cry out loud..
BUT only after i burn down the college,
and slaughter the idiot that designed this timetable.

Even in the daylight shine on

There's lotsa stuff turning round n round in my mind.
I caught nothing. *sorry suting, i really can't sleep*

I don't what happen. As i sat by the laptop and open the M.Word. I began to be EMO EMO EMO!
I got totally blank and i hate it. I thought i'm so freakin satisfied with my presentation BUT i couldn't recall anything. Something is blocking my memory to rest in peace.

Hardly, i now have friends in my class, my lectures... I do appreciate a lot. I like my friends. Its already the ending of the semester. Having them as classmates are GREAT especially for people like me for i don't get used to others fast. I hate myself fuckin much when i once thought i will suffer throughout my diploma that i seriously thought of changing college after diploma.

BUT somehow, there is a whisper from nowhere keep repeating:
"SO YOU'RE GONNA JUST DEAL WITH IT LIKE THAT? JUST LIKE THAT?"
Hell no. But thats all i can do. Shout deep in the core of my heart and use all my might to smash my keyboard to show my anger and post onto the blog to keep it in record.

I've been thinking and accepting and admitting that I'm a 100% coward.
I don't dare to do anything. To be precise, I'm a loser.
I listen to songs and then i cry. See? I can't even be honest to my emotions, i need a covering reason. I do think my life defines PATHETIC pretty nicely.

I wanted to write something in chinese which i've stopped doing so for ages.
I miss the times when i figure out things through typing all those posts.
But i failed. WHY? well, simply because i am too busy. "i thought i was too busy"

I'm listening to "when i need you" currently. I close my eyes and i dont know who to think of. Tears kept rolling out. I felt helpless. I can't breathe well.

I thought i was proud of myself. I thought i've begun to LOVE myself. I WAS WRONG. totally.

I'm still stessful. I'm still....lack of confident. SHIT. I lost my direction again. I was never a proud to the others. Ever since i had memory, i have been FAT enough, STUPID enough. I don't deserve what others get. I'm the BLACK SPOT of the other angel. Usable but not preferable.

I'm in the ending part of "Light On" now. I simply don't know why i got EMO easily nowadays.
I hate it. I dont wanna give a shit about it. Crying gave me headache. Tears make my eyes feel hurt. definitely IMPLEASANT experience.

I used to appreciate the fact that i began to learn to cry and relief. BUT i do think i cry too much.
FINE, no cry, just unidentified liquid flow outta my eyes. I don't wanna feel like a mother fuckin pinky princess which use "cry" to conquer. GOD DAMN!!

Its 2 am, I am to wake up early tomorrow. but i need to wait until i feel asleep 100% before i go to my bed. My pillow case is so going to be washed. Its kinda......watery.

Now my player is repeating "Light On". I fell into this song right after i heard it. The lyrics was like a sounding slap on a my face. Try to leave a light on when i'm gone. something i rely on to get home. To get home.......Is it home that i'm missing? Is it someone that i'm missing? Is it something that i'm missing? I think i just miss some feelings. Some............abstract, unduplicatable, strange feelings.

Thanks Blog. You made me feel better. At least i can breathe now.
I have learn to cheer myself up. Maybe tomorrow, someone is gonna leave. Maybe tomorrow, someone is gonna show up.....Keep smiling is all that i can do. Keep smiling. So that the left knows you will wait for them, the came would know you've been waiting for them.

Smile like you've been smiling at the first moment of your life.
So that the angels know that you're still you. Nothing changed you.
They will bless you more.
Just Keep on Smiling.

we will not be travelling forever, grab on anything you want. Those wants of you may be once in a blue moon. Either, if life is bout run and run and no turning back, we still need something to measure how far we've been running. Run through dreams, run through moments, run through life.

*************************
I'm searching for a unique lighter, any suggestion from anyone?
nothing much, i just wanna light up my world.
and, to leave a light on for others when i'm gone.
At least when i went on travelling, i know where to go when i'm too tired for anything.

I now learn that NO PAIN,you might still gain, but that wont make you better off

I’m such in mood for blogging. Suddenly, the sky is bright, the mood is good, the atmosphere is smooth, the mind is clear, the wind is soft, and the music is great! Everything seemed so wrong before this. Time ran fast for no reason, sleepiness keep distracting me, a day is not a day if no nap.

BUT

After my presentation, I feel like I’ve got at least a few kilogram lighter! WOW!! Haha….seems like worries actually carry a certain weight. I hope I’m by the sea right now. Also, even if I were to be on the beach, I’ve got nothing to do. I just wanna do some water playing, OMG! I totally feel like drowning myself into the soft sea and let the water whisper songs to me. Pure imagining it made me feel wonderful enough!!

Well, as a brief, I should jot down the presentation as this is my best presentation (I’d say) so far. I’ve been involved throughout the whole research and I know what it’s all about. I love the feeling of telling others about all those results I’ve got. Even though I’ve been so freakin’ nervous, but I do feel proud. I can answer the question and I love my slides. ( even it should be funny but everyone don’t give a shit bout it) its ok still. I console myself by keep saying “well, its English, dummies like them just couldn’t understand, kahinn, calm down”. With that, I walked through the presentation as per I wished. I’d thumb up for myself for those hardworks and sleepless nights.

Ohya, after the presentation my tutor said this to us outside class:

“It’s a very historical moment to see KahInn in skirt, very lady-like”

Haha….Ms.Lye, from your tone, I don’t know is it’s a comment, a tease or what. XD

Anyway, ms.Lye can be said as my favourite tutor of all, so, performing good in her class is my aim. And I do think I’m doing pretty well.

As per my SMS to ZhiLin (wow, its like the first time I mention about you without those funny names!) right after the presentation:

“ended.altho the question session sucks bt I m proud of myself.now I knw the feeling of being proud after trying my vry best. no regrets! Rock n roll de style”

Ok. I know, I was like addicted to these few words these days, “was like”, “rock”, “well”, “give a shit bout..”, “totally”.

Who cares. OMG! Will there be any concert on the beach recently? I feel like going one..NO! not 夏日八度演唱会!

Damn. I wanna shout. Blogging is fun! Word down every remarkable moments of my life made me feel blessed! Living is great! Ended tests and assignments are awesome! Getting 9/10 in law quiz is totally cool! ( what? I do deserve it ok! I read for it!)

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The time of my life—David Cook

I’ve been waiting for my dreams
To turn into something
I could believe in
And looking for that
Magic rainbow
On the horizon
I couldn’t see it
Until I let go
Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn Now I’m coming alive Body and soul And feelin’ my world start to turn
And I’ll taste every moment And live it out loud I know this is the time, This is the time To be more than a name Or a face in the crowd I know this is the time This is the time of my life Time of my life

Holding onto things that vanished
Into the air
Left me in pieces
But now I’m rising from the ashes Finding my wings And all that I needed Was there all along Within my reach As close as the beat of my heart
And I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time to be More than a name Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life
And I’m out on the edge of forever Ready to run Keeping my feet on the ground My arms open wide Face to the sun
I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time to be More than a name Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
My life More than a name Or a face in the crowd I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
This is the time of my life
Time of my life
Time of my life

David Cook is still new to me. My memory stopped at his “always be my baby” and “light on”. I’ve only heard this 2 songs from him. BUT these 2 songs have always my top 10 favourite since the first time I heard them. David Cook! He is my new style of rock and roll!!

ALSO, never forgetting, rock and roll by LOVE, and PEACE!!

These are the photos i used to introduce my group members during the presentation:

(i personally think its cute...but they all shout at me whey they first time saw it)

this is my. BUT i feel like i'm some sort of professors in Harry Potter movie.

Joanne! Lion-headed.
again, this is not funny, its ARTISTIC!

Karyn, I have to say, you really look like an old grandma!
blek...btw, Karyn said she like this hair...OMG

Corine, wow..in ear rings.. haha


Guat Chin, or JANE? yours to me is the best! haha
(no offense, TINY lil jane!)
Fen Bee....Sorry la, i cnt find your other pictures d...so ....
hehe,this not bad too.... haha

okla...here comes the NORMAL ones..(which are dull, boring)
karyn the grandma, the HUGE LAWYER me, Joa the ancient rocker

Tiny lil Jane, trying to be not that huge me, 2 minutes presentor KARYN
Corine the silent, Karyn the detail observer over strange question, Jane the SP details provider, Joa the comment giver like me, ME the in-skirt that give everyone an "O" shaped mouth.

and us, the ones that LOVE our end result.
A "well done" should be given to the all of us.
Thumbs UP!
Cheers! for the hardwork!
Applaud! for our slides!
Laugh! for our photos!
Proud! for our whole project!
Dance! for the end of the once endless assignment!
Rock!! for us!!!

生活就是这样，浪漫只是想象

逃走翻过围墙 我只能逃走 从教室里头
奔向自由 熟悉角落有人在等我有挑衅的笑容
今天谁先开球 让谁常点苦头
绿色地平线上我撞著彩色堕落
也许我这一杆又没办法进球
就像我的生活一直在出差错
也许我这一生始终在追逐那颗九号球
却忘了是谁在爱我
却忘了是谁在罩著我
从前书包很满装不下的梦就丢了一些
未来我们要怎么活凝视著白球暂时我不去想
天空渐渐变红影子爬满球桌
输赢没有结果像人生难以捉摸
也许我这一杆又没办法进球
就像我的生活一直在出差错
也许我这一生始终在追逐那颗九号球
却忘了是谁在爱我
却忘了是谁在罩著我
也许我这一杆又没办法进球
就像我的生活一直在出差错
也许我这一生始终在追逐那颗九号球
却忘了是谁在爱我
也许我这一杆又没办法进球
就像我的生活一直在出差错
也许我这一生始终在追逐那颗九号球
却忘了是谁在爱我
却忘了是谁在罩著我

******************************
十年前的我，失礼了。
青春就要甩尾加速，再给我一次就好！大爆发了~青春的烟火
我们的青春其实没什么不一样，
就是在跑来跑去中，
像云朵般莫名的散去，莫名的凝聚。

让我看看大爆发的烟火吧！
—我需要流泪—

燃烧吧！回忆！
回忆越美越可怕，所以，
燃烧吧！

There's no surprise i will be here tomorrow

I've got a confession to make:

I'm a total COWARD! CHICKEN!!

I DON'T DESERVE A WONDERFUL LIFE AND FRIENDS.
I chicken out everytime..(well...most of the time)
I don't dare to look into the mirror naked...fuck..its not good to see OIL ONLY
I tried tons of dietary plans....none succeed.
I always do last minute job,espacially in STUDIES.
I pretended to cover my true emotions.
I hoped i can lead a better life style BUT, i never do...
I never persist..
I never helped those needies when i'm in a hurry.
I purposely overlook those needies when i'm in a hurry.
I was so guilty that i didn't help an old man to carry his bag a few months ago.
I was so guity that i didn't donante even a cent to the "KFC uncle" in jetty.
I hoped for a car but i always say i don't need it..(oh shit!! this is so chicken!)
I love mayday, but i keep missing their concerts.
I love giddens, but i cnt collect all his ori books, I've got fake ones.
I love Photography but i'm too shy to say so....
I wished someone is there in my quick dial list but i got none except 999
I should be studying now but my fingers got stuck with the keyboard...
I envy everyone's life except mine..
I comment others to be pathetic but i'm the most pathetic.
I wanted to write chinese post but i always fail to do so...
I wanted a German Shepard as pet but i'm afraid of dogs...

ｉ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ａｍ　ｌｅａｖｉｎｇ　ｎｏｗ．．．
ｓｙｓｔｅｍ　ｍａｉｎｔｅｎａｎｃｅ　ｈｕｈ．．．．
ｏｋ．．．ｌｅｔ　ｍｅ　ＦＥＥＬ　ＹＯＵＲ　ＳＯＵＬ，　ＭＩＳ

i cnt find a place to rest my sight.

Today is the PR fair of my college.
Well, we've got PR students, so we've got PR fair. (no accounting fair though)
as usual, PR fair, as PR students are PR type of people,
we've got a real crowded fair...
I walked pass the venue twice. First time, i saw a band type of singing.
The singer is our college students where the others....NOT RECOGNIZED.
what i actually concern of, is the guitar used.
well, with such crowded situation, i can't see properly and so,
i was imagining something rock n roll. I forgot the song they were performing,
in fact, i couldn't get even a word from the singer...might it be the sound system prob?

well. i must say, somehow, i do feel my college is sort of like those in taiwan drama.
we've got hot and popular people in which the world or our college was like turning with them as the center point.
Everyone idolize them,
everyone knows them,
everyone wanna be their friend,
everyone wish to be like them,
everyone gossips bout them.....
EVERYONE! (i was trying to say, 8 out of 10)

I found this rather childish.
I hate the fact that i'm in a college where its full of Cina Babi.
(as per ZOE's definition, Cina Babi means those who only love chinese community. they wont accept the existance of indian or malay in their life.. they dont listen to english songs too.. they only speaks chinese and they have BAD bm.. altho they are malaysian.. and they are so into TAIWAN style but they misinterpret them and makin them into LALA style instead of those taiwan style.. they like to pose with funny finger sign too... and also with their big eyes even if they dun have them..)

ok, maybe, MAYBE the word "full of" is rather extreme, but that's still way to be enough to express my anger.

As a matter of fact, i've got bunch of people happens to be in my class when i'm studying and they are allowed the honour to study with me...lucky for them, mighty for me.

The boys were like so....lack of girlfriend? They simply tackle whoever with their IC stated perempuan. And, they actually thought themselves as handsome as....wu zhun? either, they just thought they were in those taiwanese drama where people always fancy those totally opposite them, tall love short, handsome love ugly......

The girls,(only 2 of them actually, others are just nice). They honetly thinking themselves those main actress in those dramas and they can cry cry cry cry cry cry and took all the credit!!! Every fuckin' guy pity her and .....took her as the PRINCESS! the mother fuckin princess....duh!

and the other girl, i dunno what happened to her, but she is changing her style these days. from a kiddy boyish girl to a lady. and a TOTAL FAILURE i'd say. ok, i know, mine is also a total failure!

few of us are in the question that the second girl actually had a long crush with one of the pathetic guys in our class. The guy is short, selfish, self-loving.....(again, i don't what on earth made her had the stupid crush with this lil fishmonger(remember?he selfish)) The girl is doing whatever the latest drama taught her. Good imitator, bad....lover. She made herself available to the fishmonger every single second...she angry, heartbroken, sad, cry, smile, laugh, emo in plurk every single night and those reactions, 90% of possibility is because of the shawty fishmonger.......

• When i was busy studying, i saw others getting prettier day by day.
• when i was so sad, i saw others found their love ones.
• when i broke down to tears, i saw others having friends sitting beside.
• when i woke up in the middle of the night,i was miserable and then i hid under my blanket and cry.
• when i look up to the sky, i saw the big big sun which reminds me of sunny days and memories i used to have
• when i surf around others blog, my mind automatically contrasted my pathetic life, clear and yet ACCURATE
• when i got so proud with my results, my family seem to be no reactions, no even a "well done" said, i wonder did i asked for too much?
• when i held up my head, i saw MAYDAY's poster, again, i feel like i'm always a loser.
• when i am post feeding my blog, i feel like crying. I hid myself most of the times and its painful enough to let out my true self. It had been hurt once, please hurt no more.
• when i went shopping, i did feel sad for cnt fit into those liking dresses, even i acted a totally different manner.
• when i sit in the car, i look out from the window, i cnt find a place to rest my sight.
• when i'm in a bus, i saw other cars all around me, i wonder what will I be in 10 years?
• when i read Gidden's novel, i cried for not appreciating my high school life.
• when i look around me, all i see are books books books books. I'm stress but still capable to linger on. but i need encouragement, please and please, show me that i'm not the only one care.
• when it rains again and again, i got MISERABLE. because i have to walk to college in rain and a big stupid idiot like umbrella. That makes me look friendless and lonely.
• when i heard nickelback shouting "you know i'd always come for you", i wished this is a song sent by others instead of me downloading myself,
• when i feel like crying, i'll go to bath and hold back my tears. Fuck! crying makes me look even pathetic, even lonely, even helpless, even HOPELESS
• when i had the chance to escape away from my family, i always do. I hate to be compared again and again. I just wannabe proud of myself, can't i?
• when i feel like breathing fresh air, feel the sandy beach, soak my life into salty sea water,the best for me to do is to GOOGLE it.
• when i hold and strum my guitar, i felt like it's the only one that stay there for my needs.
• when i surf JBtalks for my Lomo and palaroid, i feel damn fuckin broke where i hoped all the notes i had are redeemable for cash!
• when i passes auto city, i'd dream for a treat to any buffet, with a band singing right in the middle.
• when i got so stuck with the line in hostel, i hoped starbucks is my neighbour.
• when i got trapped in my assignments, i hoped for beer and even better, a starbucks coffee....with a warming smile from the waiter.
• when i'm alone, i've got all kind of stupid thoughts which i wished i could have blogged every of it.'
• when i was in the lecture hall these days, i can't stop writing these on the tables: "here comes the rain again, falling from the stars, drench in my pain again, becoming who we are."
• when i blog, i was actually confront-ing myself....which i hated the most. but i never stop, i do fear i might lost myself one day. reviewing it makes me feel assured.
• when i'm close enought to exams where i should start studyind, i couldn't stop to start planning my holiday. i wished for a relaxing weekend in a resort, but MONEY is not my friend, it wouldn't care how unhappy i'll end up
• when i started this post, i never knew it will grow so long, i got so addicted with this "when i,,,,," session. should try often next time.....

my player is playing waiting by BoA.
should it be a Korean song. I never know what it's about.

my life is on smooth progress.
should it be simple and ordinary. I never know what it's about.

Love comes in many types. As long as it brought peace, it should be accepted.

If only I was some sort of shadow.

Never being laid expectations.

Never burdened.

Never destined.

If this post cause your uncomfortableness, don’t blame me. You’re the one having your eyes stuck on my words.

I wanna talk about gay or lesbian or generally, love in terms of gender.

Firstly, I’ve never fall in love before, so…I don’t know if the following really make sense. Its more to my ramblings.

To start this thing here, I’d like to bring in Yasmin Ahmad. She is definitely not a gay nor lesbian. The point is, she was a “he”. You see, there are always people that are not satisfied with some of their destined fate. Even the awesome people like Yasmin. She chose to be honest to herself and believe in what she wants to believe. THIS MAKES NO HARM. So, “he” ended up “she”. From here, what I see, is the courage to BE YOURSELF.

I really don’t know why being gay or lesbian is a hot issue. Countries like to ban this kind of LOVE and then what they end up? A demonstration being held. What else? Cops, Innocent people, fighting, mad, and what else? I don’t see why being in love with your own gender is sinful or against the moral? RIDICULOUS kay?! If I ask a girl why she like her boyfriend so much, I’m pretty much sure the 10 reason she gave me is more to,he is nice, he is cute, he is handsome, he is caring, he is rich and so on and so on…DEFINITELY excluding the reason “his IC there is Lelaki”. Damn! If she really into her boyfriend mainly because of his gender, too bad, I think the girl is a sex-holic.

We LOVE someone, is because that someone has the characteristics that we look up to. We’ve got male friends and female friends. We can like anyone of them more as long as their characteristics are of our favors. So, as a human you like another human. From probability, it is unavoidable to have the occurrence of liking between same gender. And, what’s the problem with them. In summary, a human like another human.

We’re shouting for equality between guys and women. Thus, we shouldn’t judge a person by his/her gender. So, it’s total normal to have a human being in love with another human being. NON? Then you’re pathetic than.

I do think that this gender being a consideration of LOVE is stupid. Might be its because of the disobey of customs and traditions. People used to fear this kind of change. Changes in what they’ve been holding for centuries? NEVER. But it did occurred and since it makes no harm, what’s the point of continue persisting your stupid theory of MAGNET? North MUST match with South, Guys MUST match with Girls? Ahhh! How pathetic.

Don’t let any rule bridle you.

Freedom is a lawful right, as long as you’re with

sound mind

and love

and peace.

.

.

.

.

“Here comes the rain again,

Falling from the stars.

Drench in my pain again,

Becoming who we are”

--Wake me up when September ends, Green Day