The search is definitely not over!

this morning was kicked started with my favourite breakfast!(xiao long baooooooo~)

my mum and i planned to have our hair done before the breakfast,

but it seems like the "barber" has a tired-saturday-night, HE WAS LATE!!!

so we had our breakfast somewhere near the saloon and WAITED...

not long after we settled down and ordered,

the barber is there.....ISHHHH

WE, who supposed to be the first to reach, are now the 4th of the queue.

THAT'S NOT THE WORST YET.

we sat there and read a few mags and even fell asleep QUITE a number of times,

and finally, its my mum's turn.

STILL NOT MINE.......urgh!!!!!!!

A young mother than came in with her 2 lil devils...

a girl, a boy, BOTH EQUALLY EVIL!!!

the girl just wouldn't stop asking her mum " Where is daddy?" and she kept messing the bookshelf!

the boy too, trying to reorganize the totally un-organize mags....!

and somemore i saw that boy took a brush like stuff from dunno-where of the saloon and WIPED THE FLOOR WITH IT....what is this!!! so that shows the evil boy love cleanliness?!!! i mean, that brush-like thing could be a tool to the barber and the boy, HE IS SWEEPING THE FLOOR WITH THE BRUSH.....

and on top of all this,

the two evil couldn't stop making noise. FINE, kids make noise,

THAT IS FINE!!!!!!!

well, the barber actually tried to match my mum's time with me, for she is dying her hair and i'm only doing hair-cut. So, he asked if its okay for he will cut the 2 lil devil first. uh huh, as if he cares, what if i say NO! YOU MUST CUT MINE FIRST? he already invited that 2 devil to the seat la!!! ishh~ so, with me acting nice, i smiled and say, "OF COURSE"....

marthafuckin of course!!!!

i'm not mad because the barber allowed cut queue, i'm mad because the 2 lil bastard is so noisy that i couldn't even sleep!!! yea, now i wish the 2 devil don't get to go shopping mall as they were promised!!!!! HNG!!

so i got my hair-cut FINALLY, after waiting from 10.30am to 1pm

and the barber, while doing the final touch for my hair,

he suddenly say,

"look like a kid hor! i wonder how would it turn out if its on your mum"

WITH A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE!!!!

i tried not to think so much while he was cutting earlier because he keep smiling and smiling....

ISHH, do i really look that "laugh-able" with my hair cut?

BUT I LOVE IT!!

I love having a dumb hair style.....

Some random moments in my life,

I just love the fact that i looked or sometimes, acted funny.

I'd laugh if somebody laugh at my certain act, like what JaneCorineJoanneKarynAnnVan have been doing. I never do feel anything but happy when they laughed at my stupid act.

maybe i'm really talented in being a clown.

just a journal of the day post.

nothing much to remember, JUST MY QUIETLY FANTASTIC LIFE...

Our Wonderful Life, cheers to that!!!

**

bought a new shoes 2day.It feel damn good when seeing others swiping his card for your stuff while you get to enjoy ice-cream right beside as if its nothing to do with you!! haha~

**

照片，还是要洗出来的最好看！！

**

I'm officially loving LOMO more and more everyday~!!!!!

----up next, my life during exams

its not funny

its not special

its not extraordinary

ITS FULL OF LAZINESS!!!

the moment we stopped fighting for each other, that's the time we lost our humanity

now only i finished 2012....

I KNOW I'M pretty damn SLOW, BUT WHO THE SHIT CARES!!!!

well, i guess i won't be the first to say this,

but it really does resemble "The Day After Tomorrow" A LOT!!

but still, how far can disaster movies differ after all?

its all about the-end-of-the-world simple because NO-ONE really show their concern.

So what if no-plastic-bags day are having GOOD response(as per what we were told)

i still see BUNCH n BUNCH of rubbish!

I wouldn't say 2012 mind-blown me or something,(as "Time Story" had set a good benchmark for my list of mind-blowing movie)

but thats a good movie, as good as every other movie.

Not outstanding enough for me.

maybe i'm blown off by time story too much that i didn't really "into" the movie

or maybe i thought i was just watching another version of "the day after tomorrow"

2 years from now, the world goes down.

oh hey! now that i know,

2012 will be the year i got my advance diploma,

get to go Sheffield Hallam University,

and my ACCA..

if the world is really going down,

i mean IF,

do the ACCA cert still work in the whole new world after the nature biggest makeover ever?

WOW! that sounds stupid to me......zzzz!!!

Next on list: Avatar.....!

again,

I KNOW I'M pretty damn SLOW, BUT WHO THE SHIT CARES!!!!

something to note for 30th January 2010:

i went Jusco with my mum at the night,

and after she try on her pieces, she sort of leave her pouch back at the fitting room.

we discovered it only when we were about to go queue up and pay,

AS USUAL, we couldn't get it back although we RUSHED our way back to the fitting room...

now my mum is busy doing her call-to-cancel thing on her credit card and sim card.

the funny thing is that, my mum came across "The Star" newspaper this morning,

the horoscope section is advising her not to go out at night, and hey,

she still asked me out, because she says everytime the horoscope says she's gonna strike a lottery,she never did......

and, ONCE IN THE BLUE MOON, the horoscope is correct!

she wouldn't have got her purse & handphone lost if she did stay at home..

but never mind, things happen because they were destined to.

status of the day:

"The Star" Horoscope advised my mum not to go out tonight. She ignored it and....NOW, she got her purse and mobile LOST...along with ic,credit card,cash,driving license,etc......urm, I should start reading mine from "The Star" tomorrow as well....P.S. to the thief, YOU WILL GO TO HELL!!! GodDamnYouBullShitMotherFucker!!!!!!!!! 凸

should i watch 闪亮的日子 or 高兴？

I promised Suting i'd write out the story bout Ah Huat.

and yet, i haven even started the first alphabet.

don't blame me! i was watching the interview with 小小彬 yesterday.

I saw his interaction with his father(xiao bin bin), and i really think all those CRAPS about "xiao bin bin using xiao xiao bin as a source of easy money" are definitely BULLSHIT!!!

the MOST BULLSHIT out of ALL BULLSHIT.!!!

I believe that kids show their true colour anytime anywhere.

And when i see xiao xiao bin hugging his father, whispering to him, so and so,

i really think xiao bin bin make a good father.

a not perfect but love-his-own-kids father!

After seeing their father-and-son moves,

how i wish i can be a father that can go watch wrestling with my son and to interview the boyfriends of my daughter!!

whatever. I'm pretty tired now.

I need some sleep but my bed sheets are still hanging for dry..

DAMN!!!

FINE, i'll do PPS in this case.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I still feel like having Hokkien Mee!!!

URGH!!!

** TanAhChee, if you're reading this, please summarize how many "tah mee" you're owing me!!We gonna have some debtor-creditor kind of "tah mee" treat!!!

Never look back.

If only lives is about keep on running and don’t look back.

I’ll hold your hands and never let go. Because I know you will bring me to the neverland you told me.

A place where time froze up thus making us free from reality, to enjoy the little magic between you and me.

I looked at you, nodded, and say, I DO. For once in my life, I’ve made the decision whole-heartedly. I don’t need your promises about the fantasy in future, all I ever wanted is to be in your arms, stay beneath your temperature, together.

To be realistic, I don’t believe in forever. But I’ve got endless moments with you. That warms me and hence, I learn to LOVE.

I just feel like posting something randomly here.

I've a nice catching-up talk with PeiYing Tang.

( i really wish you the best, may you be granted all those wishes)

i just miss her. I feel sorry that i can't show up at her place and bang her door to surprise her!!

I don't really like my high school, but,

i miss those times where the furthest distant between us were mostly the different floors we're in.

I miss having those time where i can sleep and give no damn on the teachers.

I miss having those moments where I can fail my papers and feeling OKAY.

I miss having those people who made my day.

I miss having those laughters which I'd LMAO.....

Those golden days of mine.

......................

CNY is approaching in a constant speed.

I've always been looking forward for my this pre-CNY holiday.

BUT, i'm pretty damn bored.

I wished i can go out and work.

I wished i can have something else to do everyday(for example, took up a drama)

未來依舊有你的回憶

OMG

I FIN GUANG YIN DE GU SHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHH

how i wish it wouldn't end

!!!!

2nd episode is a whole dif story

T.T

i wanna cry liao

i wanna cry liao!!!!

T.T

one day i will get old...

old until i forget all of my stories

and...

i will sit there the whole day trying to remeber

which always end up falling asleep

i really finished the 54 episodes without fast forwarding!

because we are all listeners.

We love to listen to stories.

Stories of Families.

Stories of Friends.

Stories of BFFs.

Stories of Couple.

Stories of LoveBirds.

Stories of L.I.F.E

Thanks to everyone that made the drama.

Its SUPERB!

cheers to that!

****************

守著陽光守著你(星光歲月)

作詞：謝材俊 作曲：李壽全

守著陽光 守著你 守著陽光 守著你

讓我執起你的手 在等待的歲月中
我已經學會了不絕望
守候著你 我便守候住一身的陽光

夢境會成為過去 一如黑夜要躲藏
我仍是那最早起的明星
守著朝陽 朝陽下你燦爛的甦醒

什麼樣的信約 可以等候三世
什麼樣的記憶 可以永不遺忘
什麼樣的思念 可以不怕滄桑
什麼樣的日子 可以讓你不再流淚
讓我不再心傷

守著陽光 守著你 守著陽光 守著你

讓我執起你的手 在等待的歲月中
我已經學會了不絕望
守候著你 我便守候住一身的陽光

夢境會成為過去 一如黑夜要躲藏
我仍是那最早起的明星
守著朝陽 朝陽下你燦爛的甦醒

什麼樣的信約 可以等候三世
什麼樣的記憶 可以永不遺忘
什麼樣的思念 可以不怕滄桑
什麼樣的日子 可以讓你不再流淚
讓我不再心傷

什麼樣的信約 可以等候三世
什麼樣的記憶 可以永不遺忘
什麼樣的思念 可以不怕滄桑
什麼樣的日子 可以讓你不再流淚
讓我不再心傷

光阴的故事里，那一段闪亮的日子

光阴的故事，我看到剩最后一集了。

突然我好不想看，那种坚持了好长一段时间后的东西。

曾经我一直算还要多久才会大结局。

每天都追，没日没夜，考试也追，放假也追。

复华疯掉的时候我每天都唱着

“历久会弥新 我不了解 匆匆离开了你

时间是考验 我不了解 匆匆离开了你”

孙爸爸莫名的成了我心中的完美好男人

陶妈妈死掉的时候我有哭

许毅源说的话成了我人生的座右铭

孙一美的个性给了我很大的启发

孙妈妈让我看见了我妈妈的影子

阿公总是让我笑到岔气

汪茜茜象征着每个人的叛逆，那种总就会被驯服的叛逆。

这部戏，我从 [FRIDAY, 11 DECEMBER 2009] 一直到今天

我快要看完了。

看着戏的时候，好多人都觉得我走火入魔了。

放心，我快出关了。

我是在宿舍看完第一集的。而如今，那个宿舍是真得回不去了。

也许是害怕改变吧！我其实很抗拒搬走。

搬到别人家，也不知道是不是还能放肆的在三更半夜大声呼叫

更不知道自己满墙的海报该怎么办

刚看完第一集的时候，我写了一篇文章纪念那个美丽的邂逅

文章的标题是主题曲里的那句

"就在那多愁善感而初次回忆的青春"

而现在，我快看完了。结果我发现了同一首歌里的另一段，挺适合的

"遙遠的路程　昨日的夢以及遠去的笑聲

再次的見面我們又歷經了多少的路程

不再是舊日熟悉的你　有著舊日狂熱的夢

也不是舊日熟悉的我　有著依然的笑容

流水它帶走光陰的故事改變了我們

就在那多愁善感而初次回憶的青春"

我真得不知道，原来这部戏让我感触这么多

我有好几篇文章都有提过这部戏

而现在，我又发现了，

许多美居然和我哥哥同年！

所以茜茜一美他们就是我爸爸妈妈的那个年代！

而许多美，你只年长了我仅仅的一岁啊！

哈！ 多么美好的发现啊！

“我看了这一部戏的第一集

原以为自己失去了对于连续剧的坚持和耐性

但这不一样。

这是一个光阴的故事

一个让我们倒带重温那些年那些人那些事的故事

当这些人的名字变成我脑海里的一块

就像那些遥远的从前一般

我们无处安放的青春

我们流离寻岸的回忆

我们打打闹闹的童年

我们所有最深刻的体验

开始慢慢的浮现出来

好的，不好的，坏的，伤心的，悲哀的，好笑的，不好笑的，可怜的，快乐的，兴奋的，美丽的，梦幻的，烦恼的，无奈的，懊恼的，白痴的。。。。。

每个人的童年都在向往成长中，缓缓的从黑暗隧道的另一头走来

站在这一头的我们，却声嘶力竭的叫喊着停止，

多希望自己可以停留在那里

不要再走了，长大后的世界，多了一样叫做现实的东西，那可是残酷的代名词啊！

但同样的，我们也无法听见十年以后的自己如何出尽全力的提醒我们，

这很公平，不是吗？

每个人都有自己的那些年，那段光阴的故事

*我站在海边，海风没有在歌唱，它在朗诵着一首诗。

一首，关于沧海桑田的诗。

我闭上眼睛，想要听清楚

却在那瞬间什么都没有了

就像放在口里的棉花糖，就这么化开了

多么的理所当然

多么的诱人回味.......*

海风啊，总是和着浪花一拍一拍的

就像我们，总是和着彼此一生一世的

朋友是什么？

朋友是那段光阴的故事里，

陪着你永不忘记的人。

冯妈没有等到船，却等到了一句戒严

有些歌，不会荡气回肠，但它扣人心弦。

有些戏，不会情节紧凑，但它贴近人心

adult crap * did you see a bit of you in me?

so THIS IS IT!!!

its 25th of January.

My exams set me free officially approximately at 11.10am this morning.

I leave the hall earlier basically because of me being overexcited for the upcoming H.O.L.I.D.A.Y.S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cant wait that i sms ZhilinTang n PeiYing Tang as soon as i touch my handphone after the exam!!(now that i realize, both my adored-friends have the surname of "tang",how cool is that?!!)

me and my shopaholic roommy went right away to Queensbay mall so as to wanton our finally-exam-free-day!!!!!!! I was so excited,(and still am ^^) I couldn't stop smiling along my way! Everything that enters my sight are cute enough! Even the billboard with only a few stupid acting idiot is CUTE??

everything feels so right! the sun is of warm temperature which i feel like being hug tightly by the sun instead of being "sun-burn". I feel like running to the sea and shout like a dumb!! i feel like burying my bare foots into sandy beaches and let the sun and the sea waves whisper their stories to me and to set free my emotions to go with the wind up to the cloud and rest.

Holidaying. I am now holidaying.

We at the H.O.T.E.L M.O.T.E.L holidaying~~!!!!!!!

We at the H.O.T.E.L M.O.T.E.L holidaying~~!!!!!!!

We at the H.O.T.E.L M.O.T.E.L holidaying~~!!!!!!!

We at the H.O.T.E.L M.O.T.E.L holidaying~~!!!!!!!

We at the H.O.T.E.L M.O.T.E.L holidaying~~!!!!!!!

We at the H.O.T.E.L M.O.T.E.L holidaying~~!!!!!!!

We at the H.O.T.E.L M.O.T.E.L holidaying~~!!!!!!!

We at the H.O.T.E.L M.O.T.E.L holidaying~~!!!!!!!

We at the H.O.T.E.L M.O.T.E.L holidaying~~!!!!!!!

We at the H.O.T.E.L M.O.T.E.L holidaying~~!!!!!!!

We at the H.O.T.E.L M.O.T.E.L holidaying~~!!!!!!!

We at the H.O.T.E.L M.O.T.E.L holidaying~~!!!!!!!

i'm having 疯狂世界 on my player now.

那么多莫名的泪水~~~~~

I always love mayday.

Even i don't play their songs all the time.

Their songs make me emotional,i might smile and smile and the next song can make me cry as if i can't have cheese anymore.....NO CHEESE NO LIFE!

there's a lot of story to be told in this period of 12 days.

I've been through a few and had discover another inner self of mine.

Stories go in any way, there is no such thing as format in life.

There are always unpredictable events preparing to have your mouth open like a crocodile.

I hate a lot of things around me and i always let them drag my thoughts.

Just now tangzhilin suddenly ask me if i feel like a grown-up....

nope, I answered. I might look like experienced because i've been through that particular thing.

and i definitely don't know how much do i need to go through so as to be declared as a grown-up.

Once, I wished i could grow at a zillion faster.

But now, I learnt the phrase "Let it be"

I learnt that if life were to be the sea, the one who drifts would be the one who enjoys.

I don't like over-pushing myself. BUT, of course, i have expectations in me. Expectations like i wished i'd lead a quietly fantastic life forever and ever.

these expectations to me are okay, its not like i will swear to death that i ultimately EXPECT myself to marry Prince William.What if i fail, for i have a 50% of failing i know.

ji khor in time story once said, Life is actually a multiple question.

Yea. This saying affected me lots. I am now a lighter-minded person.

No more tied-up issues, no more unsolvable problems.

When you change something inside you, the world changes as well.

the moment i adjust my sight on life, the world enlarges.

I shall learn how to hover around.

I am 100% with the rule of not being too harsh to yourself.

I love to have myself spoil by me......just love it.

Who doesn't eh?

I have hard times, in fact, i have a lot of it every semester, depending on the subjects.

but so what, when i'm so fuck up, i will keep repeating to myself,

its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending its ending

When things will end eventually, we fear less.

Why SAW123456(7) is horrible? because the person never know the end of it.

i'm listening 五月天-拥抱. I couldn't understand the lyrics at the first time i heard it.

But somewhere here and there, i started to learn to interpret it.

Everyone is different as a whole. No 2 person is the same in the world.

which is why i love the miracles that can happen in the relations between people.

I do think that the person who wrote the lyrics might have a story behind those words,

a story that is untold and the listeners will never know.

BUT the listeners will create their own story relating the song.

This could be the communication between musics huh?

I love words. I love to see the sparkles between different collusion of words.

I read novels, I keep lyrics, and i write blog entries.

I never know i can have a hobby of reading novel until i met 9blades.

I never know i can be so emotionally active until i met mayday and crowd lu.

I never know i've got so many thoughts until started blogging.

After this long passage, (actually, it shouldn't end here, but i'm too tired.)

i still don't know what's the point of me writing all these craps.

somehow, i just wanna thank god for everything HE granted(including the stubborn body-fats!!) I am who I am. Lady Gaga inspired me that if i were to live under the world, i will suffer. But if i were to live above the world and under myself, I will LIVE a life.

Life is constantly inspiring me.

Thank God for making me ugly so as to decrease my risk on rape cases.

Thank God for making me not-big-named so as to reduce the risk of kidnap cases.

Thank God for making me look dumb so as to reduce the risk of others hating me.

Thank God for making me poor so as to reduce the risk of being robbed.

Embrace life so that your life will hug you back tight.

Love yourself. Hurt yourself NO. its silly.

One day in the future, you will meet the best in you.

You will cry because you feel like "ohgawd! FINALLY"

I'm still waiting......

王若琳--adult crap

i gotta say, life isn't how i expected.

but in a way, i guess that's nice.

o, not really.

and you'd think that i'd cry myself to sleep.

and maybe you're right, but what can i do

all these pills, bookkeeping, pleasant things like so

so many things, ah, how i want them,

but money comes and goes.

and you'd think that i'd cry myself to sleep.

and maybe you're right, but what can i do?

what am i upposed to do with this mess called life?

and people say,

'you'll figure it out somewhere along the way.'

still every night i'd cry myself to sleep.

do you see a bit of you in me?

and you'd think that i'd cry myself to sleep.

do you see a bit of you in me?

.................................

.........................

..................

"我如果对自己妥协，如果对自己说谎，即使别人原谅，我也不能原谅" --Mayday

last but not least, Happy Holiday folks!!!!!

We gonna tear off the town!!!

We gonna crash into ChinaTown!!!

We gonna rock the city upside down!!!

Its gonna be another day, with the sunshine~!!!

Today is the last day of my ridiculous study leave.

(TanCheahChee, from today onwards, you don't have to worry bout me, i won't brg my laptop to hostel, no more net-surfing. I shall concentrate on my exams...bt i do have tv in hostel...)

i'm gonna have audit exam tomorrow, but the thing is that i've got totally NO FEEL at all. To be honest, i've been very very nervous during tests.

reviewing my whole study leave, one word does it all----S.L.A.C.K

well, even my dear cousin worries more than be about my exams.

she keep asking me to study whenever she sees me hanging around on the net.

but its not that bad after all, i did spent one day to meet my lovely friends upon the name of 613.

there're few faces that i haven seen in ages, and also some faces that i've been seeing all the while.

But i'm still glad to have all of us getting on well.

we still joke, we still talk bout bullshits, we still gossips bout dirty secrets.

On top of all this, we didn't feel awkward at all....^.^

i was thinking when would be the next time we meet up,

maybe CNY? but i think i won't be around.

anyway, life keeps going on~

so, back to the exams,

i flipped through my MA's books and.......that's it.

i read through my Audit's chapters and....that's it.

I studied through a few lines of FAP and...that's it.

i spent my study leave doing all of the above.

here's my routine everyday:

12noon-wake up,brunch,laptop

2.30pm-NTV7(还珠格格）, laptop(pps, fb, blog, rubbish~)

7smtg pm- dinner, laptop

11pm-study for a while

12 something am-ASTRO or laptop (either one) and some exercises

3something am-bath,sleep

that ends my day.

yea, i exercise in the middle of the night.because its cool that way.

i always sleep late, in fact, i love to sleep late, its my style of rock n roll.

although this style gets me into nothing but shits like being scolded again n again...

but i couldn't RESIST!! I can walk around the house and have nothing to do,

but when it comes to night, everything starts to run into list and,

I NEED TO STAY UP pretty LATE......

i couldn't finish my 光阴的故事 before exam, which i'm kinda sad for this.

I can only see 孙一美许毅源陶复邦汪茜茜冯拍雄汪娟娟朱虹朱磊孙再美孙家柱孙妈孙爸阿公陶爸陶妈孙奶汪奶张妈妮妮保罗汪军豪汪盈盈张瑞瑞毛毛朱夫人 on the 25th.....which is 12 days from today...!

Frankly, 12days isn't that long, non?

i've got SIX damnit papers to be done in 12days, means one every two days approximately.

i feel terrible when i see the distance between 13 and 25 0n the calendar,

but when i tell myself its only 2 weekend, that makes me feel better,

even the 12days make me feel like.....okay.

and i was shocked for myself handling the exams like...nothing.

I can pps the whole day without guilt! or probably my guilts will arrive after i'm finished by the papers.

FINGERS are definitely CROSSED

i'm so not in mood. Everytime i went doing shopping with my mum, she keep nagging me to prepare myself for cny, meaning, get my hair done, get a RED outfit for CNY and a new pair of shoes...

urgh! talking bout shoes, my snake-y left the left side, and i have got ZERO clue on what happened to the other!!! ishhh~!!!!! i think quite a big possibility that me being the one to be blamed on this issue, so there's nothing else i can say, eh yeh~!

before i me self-declared study leave, Jane mentioned something,

"Have you ever tried listening to CNY songs while studying?"

Jane, I do. and that sucks a zillion times!!!!!!!!!!!

----------------------------------------

here this post shall end, and its only a semester exams,

which is NO BIG DEAL at all!!

and i need to stop thinking it as the end of the day.!!!

Bye sunshine, see you on the 25th after 12noon.

Do greet me nicely, i hate rainy days, so please don't rain on the 25th!

BYE BYE, facebook

BYE BYE, twit twitsssssss

BYE BYE Quietyly Fantastic.

* how i wish i'm saying goodbye because i'm off to a trip or something....

never ever quit learning anything

for my class is inclusive of quite a number of no-brainers, approximately half of my whole tiny class, they always skip classes.

and whenever our tutors ask about it, sometimes some people might say stuffs like "on the way", "don't know" or something of the same means--->we don't bother to know, so shouldn't you, tutor.

But if the question was left unanswered and i got fed up with the tutors asking AGAIN n AGAIN,

i will answer it, and with the probability of 9 out of 10, i will say

"somewhere over the rainbow"

to be honest, the first time i ever said it this way was only a sudden thought and just spill out in that kinda way. but after that, i grew to like it. ha!

somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blueee.....

i was reading one of my ex-house-mate's blog just now, she seem to be missing her times back at Tarc Penang. well, if it was me a few sem ago, i might have been pretty jealousy-felt towards her life, which seems to be fantastic.

but now, yea, i'm glad i met JaneCorineJoanneKarynAnnVan...

We're the very usual and ordinary ones in college.

those who don't go round and having cheers or whispers behind us.

those who don't make the main characters of any gossips.

we are all college students who love TARC penang, but not some of the students.

we love our lecturers because they are mostly with certain working experience.

we love our syllabus because no matter how many jokes we've made during class, we can still cope in.

we love our college because its high up on mount.erskine where kahinn's tree is situated.

(yea, i got my own-named-tree,i will post up the photo one day.)

i used to feel terrible about my college. but since i met them, i got it clear that i don't hate TARC, but i hate the infinity lala in it.

now, i go to class everyday and i really laughed a lot.

Karyn is always there to boost off all the laughters.ha!

although they like to make fun out of my Hokkien

although they like to laugh at my certain acts and comment that i make a good clown

this is the first time after TPY and 613 that i feel the so-called "friendship"thing.

Things were so easy when everyone is around.

and i do like the fact of discussing our assignments but always end up strayed from the original intention. end up in gossips or jokes or......another laughter..! haha

I used to feel tired and reluctant to go to college, but everything is never the better now.

Thanks to Jane and Corine to let me join them which pulled me outta the hell-like life.

Thanks to Karyn and Joanne which made our group a fixed one instead of going around begging for group members to meet the number of member required.

i once thought that my way to graduation is so loong that it will never reach, but it is now 1 more semester away. One day in the future, i might feel miserable about the up-coming advance dip graduation. But everything will be alright, for i learned that to only way to live on well and happy is to keep myself humble and never ever quit learning anything.

*I went out with ZhilinKokhongYeeshiuanChialingShenyeenSimyiYiyun yesterday upon the name of 613. we laughed a lot, even with all those spams on yeeshiuan walls, i still feel good. i think so does Zhilin Tang. and we commented that a lot of people dropped blogging these days....hmm, i'm glad i still persisted. I have never feel so proud of myself before. TanCheahChee n TanEeKwan are wondering where i get all those ideas to blog literally everyday, well, urm, i don't know................I always have a words or two for my everyday or everything, and NO! i'm not trying to be bossy or whatsoever, i just want myself to learn to REMEMBER what i've been through. *

kawan of the day:

this is wong yee shiuan:

points to note about WongYeeShiuan:

1. Ang Kok Hong says:Wong Yee Shiuan bought levis jeans,tommy hilfger shirts,paul smith shirts,one yellow burberry shirt which costed him rmxxx.:Dhe is a rich ass

   
   

   Kyle Sim says: Wong Yee Shiuan is bur than burberry

   
   

   KahInn Lee says: Wong Yee Shiuan dumped his FRIENDS bcz of the bunch of RM449.40 so-called "branded" (rejectedly branded to be precise) clothes

   
   

   KahInn Lee says: Wong Yee Shiuan kept his FRIENDS waiting like dummies in Takehana while he enjoyed himself in tao's and .......shopping!!!!!!

   
   

   
   

   
   

因为我年轻，所以我就犯了年少轻狂的罪吗

原来不管你怎么努力的快乐，只要你没有别人所谓正常的躯壳，你还是什么都不是。

不管你多么的摇滚，不管你多么拼命希望大家可以喜欢你多一点。

我是一个他妈的失败的人。

曾经我迷茫这个世界既然创造了胖子为什么还要发明BMI这个字。

曾经我觉得我连开口呼吸都会变胖。

曾经我被取笑得连照镜子的勇气都没有。

曾经我每吃一口食物都被罪恶感紧紧包围。

我变成一个抬不起头来的人。

我变成一个活在自己的世界的人。

我变成一个会自己跟自己对话一整天的人。

我变成一个没有朋友的人。

我问我自己，这样对吗？

靠！我真的不知道！我只知道那是我人生最黑暗的时期。

那好长的一段时光，现在回想还是会被吸入长长的黑暗，剩下荡在空中的无助和微弱的叹息。

我一直以为我走出来了，但没有。从来都没有，我只是闭上眼睛继续走。

对于那些让我恐惧的，我选择眼不见为净。

谁不怕？你不怕吗？好，没关系，反正我很怕。

一个人孤独的成长造就了今天个性乖戾的我。

我以前以为我是没有娘炮的安全感和征服世界的自信。

所以当我遇见五月天的时候，我惊叹不已！

所以当我遇见九把刀的时候，我惊为天人！

所以当我遇见卢广仲的时候，我惊叫连连！

喜欢很强的人，并不会让你变得很强，顶多，你就只是变得比较自欺欺人。

但现在我知道了，我没有那些娘娘强的安全感和自信，不止，我连做人的资格都没有。

我很想知道为什么我的肥胖好像得罪了全世界那样恐怖？

我很努力的想要证明的东西，绝对可以在我站上体重测量机的那一秒瞬间瓦解。

他妈的，连犹豫都省下来了

我一定得因为我的肥胖而自卑吗？

我一定得因为我的肥胖而搞得自己神憎鬼厌吗？

我一度以为不用，但现在看来，好像不是这么回事。

我好像应该因为自己的肥胖，连带搞得我周围所有的人丢脸而感到羞愧。

我好像应该因为自己的肥胖，变得自卑变得像以前那个我很讨厌的自己。

我妈妈早上在车上一直骂，我突然觉得好累。

原来从来就没有人真心地接受我就是很肥的这个事实。

我以为，我真的以为我多努力一点去学习亲和力这种完全不对我的菜的事，可以或多或少补足我肥的不可理喻这个显著的缺点。但没有。

我总是对于被骂肥这件事显得漠不关心。

但你想一想，如果你从有记忆以来，每天都被灌输你就是一只猪的观念，请问，你甘愿吗？

有时候我真的不想瘦下来，我真的想证明不是只有身材标准的人有饭吃。

但每当大家用肥胖这件事来挑战我的时候，我都不约而同的败下阵来。

以前我试过吃恶心吧啦的代餐，

在圣诞节所有朋友围炉的时候，我在一旁干瞪眼，还得表现的一副“我没事啦！”的死样子。

在除夕夜全家人开开心心的有说有笑吃火锅的时候，我一个人坐在客厅看着被假扮成新春特备节目的残破电影。

在肚子饿得头昏眼花的时候，拼命的重复我不饿我不饿，然后看着最喜欢吃的东西在你嘴边擦嘴而过。

在每一个停下来的缝隙面对自己，却只有一句欲哭无泪？

如果以上你都没有试过，你可以不要跟我说肥胖会带来死亡吗？

如果肥胖真他妈的带来死亡，那你就让我自己选择我死亡的方式可以吗？

孙一美很笨，所以她真的考上大学以后生活就不苦了，因为最大的烦恼消失了。

我靠他妈的很肥，所以我只有瘦身才有资格生活不苦吗？

我一直以为，因为我很肥，因为我他奶奶的很肥，所以我必须以别人双倍的力量来生活。

但现在觉得不是双倍，而是，我在变得看起来正常以前，我可能连正常生活的资格都没有。

妈妈早上在车上一直骂，我听到的却是电台传来的歌。好巧，居然使simple plan的shut up.

我冲着那句"don't try to tell me what's right, FOR ME"，突然鼻头很酸。

我不管看我妈妈，我怕我会真地哭出来，因为我一直以为我们之间的关系改善了，但怎么这个画面就像那些恐怖的似曾相识。我转头看向车窗外，车子停在了铁轨前面，妈妈还是在骂着，我看着我正右边那一条小路。

那一刻，我多希望我真的开门下车。但我知道，我还是得要认输乖乖回家。我一直都知道啊！不然今天的我不会是这个样。离家出走并不会解决问题，它只会变成一个新的问题，并再再的放大那个人的不成熟。

但我真的好希望出走。我想要去一个完全不一样的空间，沉淀沉淀我在这里的一切。

但这个世界始终很实际，想去另一个空间唯一的办法就是自杀，然后下地狱去。

不然，只得老老实实的继续苟延残喘，不管你什么伤痕累累，泪痕遍遍。

我的大脑里一直转着五月天疯狂世界的chorus。

这个疯狂的世界，好像一个大漩涡，一直自转得大家晕头转向迷失自我。

未来，我也会被卷入旋涡里，忘记了曾经的阳光普照。

漩涡里也许是新的一个世界，但不再是小时候只要看天空,枕着白云就觉得全世界都拥有的那种世界。

对啦对啦！我是一个很肥却害怕承认的人，所以我失败，所以我不摇滚。可以了吗？

（妈妈骂我的时候有这一句话，我听了，我很伤心：

“你才20岁，你爸爸也是40岁以后才肥的，肥了就是这样gong gong的咯！你啊！我看你以后25岁就像爸爸现在这样笨笨的了）

妈，在你多么生气，多么受不了我的时候，你可以不要一而再，再而三的忘记我的自尊心吗？

你知不知道我要到好多篇部落格，哭很多次，听很多五月天卢广仲，读很多九把刀，我才会有办法出发去找回我的信心？

awhh...how sweet to see dumb-ass exchange Xmas with each together...!!! haha! stupid people enjoy their stupidity in a stupid way..! oops! am i too straight for this? NO! dumb-ass never get it!

This is what i commented under my facebook status after seeing a lot of people practicing the exchange gifts during Christmas.

I swear i wasn't trying to imply anything, but it seems like the no-brainers of my class fit themselves into the "dumb-ass" like....AUTOMATICALLY!

One of them went asking a friend of mine about it....He asked my fren "am i that dumb to organize the exchange gift?"

than my fren asked him, "how you know kahinn is referring to you all?"

his reaction:"OH? that means she is not talking about me?"

bahahahahahaha! is this not funny or what?

He is not even sure who or what i am saying, immediately he fit himself into the seat!

HOW STUPID! SEE? its not that i wanna call them dumbass, but they really acted so!

To be frank, I'm so shocked! and that's not the end of it.

I went back hostel and scroll down through my friend list, it appears that the no-brainer is not in it.

OWH! did he stalked me all the while or.....one of maybe his friend saw it and tell him?

whatever it is, i must say i am FUCKIN stunned!

I am still wondering where he got my status from.....

well...dumbass like him, i really sighss.

thank goodness he's not doing Advance Dip,

leave leave leave all you dumbos!

get outta my life and gets yourself one.

dumbos, you just don't ROCK as i do.