Never apologize for showing feeling. when you do so, you apologize for truth.
True. Very. and I started laughing.
I was told for a few stories recently. other people's story.
I'm shocked that I'm a terrible listener.
I laugh before the story-teller even smile.
and as I was chit chatting with friends in car the other day,
i commented that one of my friend appear to be a single cell person.
ha. this is a praise, not to have it wrongly taken.
And all my way back, I am using my first wishes of the birthday that I can be a single cell person.
Not to say single cell = without brain.
When i say single cell means, to go all out.
No more hidden unknown feelings.
its not good every night when you sit back and try to sort your feelings
so that you wont face insomnia. but guess what, it never works.
when I have like..thousands of feelings, i feel like i'm being swallowed by some fish and is trying very hard to get out without being suffocated.
and i think its a joke when i say i'm depressed+sad+tired+emo+...........
She asked me so what are you when you have mix feelings?
i said i am a mix.
she look at me and grin.
and she tap my shoulder, and say, "well, its not that bad, Hermoine is doing kinda well in hogwarts! its okay to be a muggles. don't try too hard."
i am dying to learn portraits taking.
and i was chatting with a friend the other day telling her this
and i think the conversation is LOL enough for me to remember until now.
"i tell you what, I am so going to learn this photography!I wanna be a photographer!"
"owh?! photographer earns more with ACCA cert???"
"DAMN! screw ACCA! i wanna get a life."
"screw ACCA? I know bob the builder, I get you nails! and screwdrivers too!"
"i thought he only has the forklift or lorry or something."
"OH! hearing a business students talking! don't you learn the word DIVERSIFY?"
"its only a cartoon. DEAL WITH IT. HE TALKS TO HIS LORRY"
"yeah, and your sponge live in a pineapple besides a big dumb star under an island which only have 3 coconut trees that never grow nor shrink"
"I never watch BOB, there's nothing for me to argue. I'M LEAST INTERESTED IN A WORKER WHO TALKS TO THE LORRIES"
"and I am here listening a story of an accounting students who badly wanna be a photographer. guess my interest!"
"ITS SO MUCH FUN OKAY! photography is so much fun! REALLY!"
"Whats so fun about it. its only about pressing something."
"NAHHHH! ITS SO MUCH MORE"
"alright, its about pressing something many times in a row."
"do respect my wishes will you please!"
"okay. respect given. tell me more. I'm tired of talking."
"are you tired of listening?"
"well,if i am tired, i think acting to be listening would be much easier than talking.just talk!"
"FINE. i wanna learn photography and become a world class photographer! and i will travel all around the world and take awesome photos. Models die to have my flashes on them even for once, Stories were told again and again through my photos, and and and......"
"and you will die starving for have wasted all $ developing films. oh! my friend."
"Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy shit…what a ride!’....MY PREN!"
"I am not going to encourage you to persue your dream my friend, cause i know you're courage-d enough."
"sometimes you make me wanna cry."
"cause i love you."
"i love you double."
"dude, i like listening your dreams. although i don't have one. sometimes i feel really terrible of myself.I never do know I'm living things through, it was like a motherfuckin routine."
"........r u expecting me to .....console you?"
"can you please?"
"well, The best thing one can do when its raining is to let it rain."
"thank you. i am feeling nothing better."
"it takes time to heal your hurts, especially when you don't know why it was hurt."
"I don't know. I just sit down in classes, listening lectures, reading materials, studying textbooks, and, i don't know whats the difference between lectures and heavy metal music. i dunno whats the difference between reading materials and indian novel, and i fucking don't know what's the difference between a textbook and bible."
"..............go on."
"runaway is stupid yet useless. i know. but, i wan one. i feel like a loser when i sit down and started thinking, oh, it has been 20 years and i haven find my soul. friend, i wanna know what i want."
"and you know you want me."
"........................i still love you even you give me retarded jokes."
=)
friends.
she loves me even i give her retarded jokes.
like all the while?
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